Under The Surface [Editing]

Chapter Eleven Awkward Conversations

He kissed me! Forget that, I kissed him back! What was I thinking?

At the same time the kiss was wonderful. The way he felt so close to me. My body responded to him in a way that I never knew was possible. I have had boyfriends before and kissed but this…The past was nothing like how he had kissed me. He was passionate, exciting, soft and so very arousing.

I lay awake tonight unable to sleep. Actually, it has been a few days after he kissed me. We both were avoiding each other like the plague these last few days. I had not been sleeping well either. I kept tossing and turning and waking up from dreams that stared Nathan’s lips.

I haven’t told anyone either, not even Lily and Debra. I blew out a breath that we call ‘raspberries’ and got up out of my bed, something to drink sounded good right now. I shuffled quietly down the stairs. Everything was pitch black being that it was the middle of the night. I held onto the stair railing so I wouldn’t miss a step and go tumbling down. My slippers made that soft sliding noise as I walked into the kitchen towards the fridge.

Opening the door I caught a glimpse of a figure silhouetted in the moonlight from the kitchen window. When the figure shifted slightly I spun around and almost screamed until I saw those blue eyes glimmering in the light.

“Nathan you scared the shit out of me.” I said clutching my heart and snatching some water out of the fridge. As I sat down at the table across from him I was acutely aware of the small amount of pajamas I had on since I did not think anyone else would be up I hadn’t bothered with my robe.

“Sorry.” He mumbled, he looked away and back down at his own glass of water. He was brooding again. He always did that when he was thinking about one of those things that he kept hidden and would not speak about. I shifted slightly and yawned.

“Couldn’t sleep either.” One of my eyebrows raised as he spoke fist.

“Nope.” I popped the ‘p’. Silence fell upon us again. Yep, this was how conversations went since we kissed, it was nerve racking. I wanted to help and talk to him but his walls seemed to be growing rather than shrinking.

“Bad dream?” I asked just trying to make conversation. He looked in my eyes and I caught my breath there was no hardness or anger just sadness and a different kind of desire filled the soft blue pools.

“No.” He admitted gruffly and again with no elaboration.

“What’s wrong Nathan you can talk to me you know.” I reached out without thinking about it and touched the top of his hand as it rested on the table. Surprising me his other hand came up and rested on top of my hand and his thumb traced the bones in my hand. It sent thrilling shivers through me.

“I can’t talk about it with you…I want to...just...not yet.” His voice was tender, and hope coursed through me as he had said ‘not yet’.

“Okay.” I breathed accepting his answer. He wanted to talk, his wall was getting in the way. I took another sip of my water. I was about to pull my hand away, but he had gripped it lightly, I looked at him confused but his eyes were closed.

“Please sit with me Dawn your presence is soothing.” My eyes widened with the affection that was inflected in his voice.

I shifted to a more comfortable position and relaxed my hand. Once he felt me relax he continued tracing my bone structure. He was such a damn mystery. I felt I was never going to find out his secrets. But I also started to feel like I did not really care I just wanted to comfort him and tell him he didn’t need his walls around me. Weird, why would I feel like that? At the same time he made me feel content and safe.