Under The Surface [Editing]

Chapter TwentyThree Thanksgiving

Nathan didn’t bother me anymore that night. He still tried knocking on my door a few times. He didn’t say anything on the way to school the next day either. I could tell he wanted to but I still was giving him the cold shoulder. At lunch, I was completely silent not even talking to Lily or Debra.

Nathan tried to include me in the conversation but I refused ignoring him. Lily and Debra knew something was wrong but didn’t bother me. I was rarely the type to be quiet when I was thoroughly angry like this.

It hurt to be shut out by him, just as much as keeping him out did just to prove a point. But dammit, isn’t that what couples do for each other? Allow the other to be their rock? Their support system? Oh, I forgot, right, we weren’t really together, I thought sarcastically. The whole thing was starting to bother me. I decided to act like we weren’t together at all that way it wouldn’t hurt as much.

So that was how things went through the holiday. I didn’t completely ignore him, it was impossible when you live with someone. I went through the motions and cried myself to sleep most nights during the week leading up to Thanksgiving.

My dad was driving us out to my grandparent’s house for the holiday. I put on my happy face for the family though I was not. He brought Nathan with us because my dad considered him part of the family now. Every time Nathan had tried to talk to me this week I was flippant and casual. He shut me out from the hard stuff; I was going to as well.

My grandmother could not get over how handsome Nathan was and kept commending my dad for his generous heart to open his home and help the youth of our day. Everywhere I went there was talk about Nathan and it was annoying me. Still, I put on a smile and made small talk.

My grandmother lived out in the country area of town surrounded by the forests, almost as far away as the beach was. She had neighbors, they weren’t miles apart but she had a good amount of land separating them. The house always smelt like moth balls and old lady perfume. The smell was muted today because of the food being prepared and cooked for Thanksgiving. I helped in the kitchen with my cousins Jennifer and Mali. We hadn’t seen each other since the summer time, so we were playing catch up.

“You look depressed?” Mali spoke to me as I pressed the dough for biscuits into circles with the shape cutter. I looked up at her surprised, her brown eyes looking at me concerned and her chocolate hair flowing in silky, shiny, curly locks around her chocolate face. She was my cousin but she was darker than I was with her father being a black man and a funny one at that.

“I do?” I said quietly.

“Hell yeah you do, who broke your heart?” Jennifer said from behind me her long brown hair whipping me in the face as she turned to look at me. Her eyes were always sparkling with her pleasant personality.

“No one just angry at a few things,” I turned back to making the biscuits. My grandmother was from the south so biscuits and gravy came with every meal.

“And you’re not going to tell us anything,” Mali continued in her soft voice. She was always the calm one and supportive. Jennifer was a little wild and I was close to both of them, they both were older than me and on their way to college soon.

“Nope,”

“Well it’s definitely a guy then,” Jennifer said winking at me. I chuckled shaking my head and the conversation changed back to the food. Finishing the biscuits and putting them in the oven, I burnt my hand on the rack. Cursing as I went to the sink to run cold water over it. I looked out the window above my grandma’s kitchen sink that looked out to her backyard.

Nathan was standing there with my dad talking with my grandfather, his eyes wondered and he looked bored. He caught my gaze out the window and his face contorted into pain and anger, then hurt and longing. I shook my head slightly, not enough for him to notice through the glass and looked down and away from him. I couldn’t let myself get hurt if this wasn’t going to work out.