Under The Surface [Editing]

Chapter TwentyEight The Bastard Left

That certainly explains Nathan’s strange behavior from what my dad just said. He was planning on leaving since he got back from visiting his mother and heard the news about his father. But he kissed me, he cuddled with me, he was only saying goodbye. Anger rose like a boiling pot that overflowed and I couldn’t decide what I felt stronger. The fear of what he was doing, why he left, what could happen to him or the anger that he would do something like this, to my father, to me.

Not knowing was already driving me mad and it had only been a minute. My dad turned back to the conversation he was having on the phone. My heart was shattering into a million pieces. I automatically pulled out my phone and dialed his number. Hope rose I my chest slightly when I heard it ring off in the distance and then instantly plummeted as I realized it was coming from inside the house. He left his phone here somewhere.

I had to see for myself. I dashed upstairs and there was his phone on the night stand the green blinking light indicating a missed call. No, his father wasn’t going to kill him, I was. If only I had an inkling of an idea of where he possibly could be or going and planning on doing.

Was he leaving me? Was he trying to protect me in some deranged way? I sunk down to the floor just inside his room, staring blankly at all his belongings and the things he has collected now. He wouldn’t throw it all away would he? What an idiot thing to do. Worried, hurt, angry and afraid, I didn’t know how to begin sorting out all I was feeling in this moment. One thought kept reverberating in my head. He was gone.

“Dawn…,” my dad said cautiously on the doorway. Any other time I would be nervous about my dad finding me in Nathan’s room. I didn’t move or look up at my dad’s presence.

“Deb’s here to take you to school,” he speaks softly.

“I don’t want to go to school,” I snap.

“You have to,” he was being firm with me. I scowled standing up. Before I could walk past my dad he stopped me and forced me to look him in the eye.

“We will find him,” he was so sure, I felt my stomach flutter again with hope but my heart was still shattering. I nod, unable to say anything.

I grabbed my things viciously, now angry at my dad for making me go to school after this current event. I didn’t want to face my friends, or school after this weekend alone, now this. The air was cold outside and I shivered not caring, there was nothing to care about anymore.

“Where’s Nathan?” Deb asked casually

“He’s not coming,” I snarl menacingly and look out the window. My ton certainly kept Debra from asking more questions. Where could he be? My inner voice wailed at me. I had to bite my tongue to keep the tears from flowing, I would not cry today and at the same time surprised I hadn’t burst into tears right away.

“Oh,” she said quietly and we pulled away towards school.

*

I was a snarling rabid beast today. Everything around me seemed so trivial and ridiculously unimportant. I was on the outside looking in floating over my own body. The whole school was talking about the party. Various versions of the events distorted and exaggerated filtered around me. Some people who knew I was involved sent looks and whispers my way. I didn’t care. There wasn’t many who knew the truth anyway.

In class Penny kept looking at me with apology written all over her face. At one point walking with my friends in the hall someone pointed at me and I walked right up to them challenging to say something to my face instead of behind my back, yelling and drawing all kinds of attention. That seemed to put a stopper in some of the talk around me. I still hadn’t told Lily or Debra anything and they were smart enough to leave me alone. They have never seen me so agitated, I don’t think I have ever been this upset or agitated, but I knew they could see the sadness in my eyes.