This is a story about the bond Colleen and Rachel Ballinger share. When Colleen goes through the hardest moments of her life, who will have her back through everything? Disclaimer: this is a story about something that did really happen. The event...
*January of 2018* Ever since Hawaii, I've been spending more and more time with Erik. We go and get food a lot, and he's always at my house, but we haven't exactly made it "official" yet. I mean, he's sleeping in te same bed as me...I like him and he likes me, but neither of us have initiated the conversation yet. Tonight Erik has plans with his brother and Kory has a date. I hate being home alone, so I invite Rachel and JoJo over. Rachel is my favorite human being on the planet. I can tell her anything. JoJo is only a child, but she is one of the smartest, hardest working women I know. We're supposed to film a Miranda-JoJo collab today anyway, so she can just hang with us. A lot has happened and I've got tea to spill. Rachel arrives first and she sits at the island as I start dinner. I'm just cooking up some spaghetti real quick for us to have. "So, how's everything been?" She asks me as I stir the sauce. "I've been crying a lot less, so that's good," I answer, laughing. "No really, I've been really great." Within 10 minutes, JoJo is being dropped off by her mom. I talk to Jess for a few minutes, then she leaves her daughter with us. After dinner, we sit on my couch together and put on a really trashy movie in the background at a low volume. "So...How are you and Erik?" JoJo asks sing-songy. "Oh, shut up," I say, tossing a pillow at her. "But really, I've got tea to spill!" "Oooo! We love a drama queen!" Rachel says in her best sassy voice. "I think I, like, ...really like him..." I say shyly. At this point JoJo bounces off the couch shouting, "I knew it!" Repeatedly. Rachel looks at her and rolls her eyes. "Oh, please. They've been sleeping together since Hawaii." "Rachel!" I scold. "No! Eww! Obviously not what I meant," she says shaking her head in disgust. "I mean they have been sleeping next to each other in the same bed. Luckily, that seems to slide right over JoJo's head. "But I'm just worried about it," I begin. "I don't want whatever kind of relationship we have to be online yet, but they're already figuring it out. There's a very popular "Clues that Erikleen is Real" video floating around. And by not telling them, I'm being accused of exploiting it for views. I just, I don't know what to do. What do you guys think?" "You wanna see something...?" JoJo asks nervously. "I don't know...do I?" I respond with the same tone. "Here. Show me first," Rachel says. JoJo pulls up her phone and flashes the screen to Rachel. Rachel nods and says, "that's fine. Show her." JoJo hands me her phone and my stomach jumps to my throat as soon as I read the twitter handle.
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As soon as I read the words, I burst into tears. "I'm sorry!" I say, crying. JoJo takes her phone from my trembling hands and hugs me. "Success isn't about money! I know that! That's literally the motto I live by! You'd think after eight years of knowing me inside and out, he'd know that I work three jobs just to do what I love!" I yell, falling apart. The fact that a 14 year old is emotionally stable enough to comfort a 30 year old is incredible. "I can't say anything with a tweet being written about it! It's been a year and a half!" "Listen, Colleen," Rachel says, "he know the only way he can get views and like is to use you. The only reason I wanted you to see this is so you knew it was out there. He needs to grow the f up! Okay, now, JoJo, why do you have this, and where did you get it?" "We used to be friends. We don't talk anymore! I just, was never really supposed to unfollow people because it starts too much drama. These tweets are pretty regular by the way. It's constantly excessively thought out posts." "This is what I'm saying! Just imagine if I said anything about Erikleen. God, I can't even think about it. Oh, JoJo, I wanna show you something. Um, I probably shouldn't because, you're 14, but oh well." I pull out my phone to fish out a screenshot of something Josh commented on a fan edit Erikleen video. It was in response to a viewer who said they liked Erik better than him. "Here," I say, passing the phone to JoJo, "it's a little explicit, but not my words."
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JoJo's eyes blow up to 12 times the size. I burst out laughing this time. "Wait, what?!" She screams. "I know!" I say, finally having calmed down. "Okay, y'all need to listen up. My demographic is mostly young girls. It's just facts. The fact that a thirty...two year old man told a most likely young, female child to f*ck off is ridiculous. I can't even. I feel so bad for that kid, like, imagine, you, a 14 year old girl, being told by some man to F off. I was so pissed when I saw that I can't even explain. I just, it makes me so upset!" I say, beginning to cry again. Rachel speaks up this time. "Listen. You need to calm down. The way Erik makes you smile, I never want you to loose that. I haven't seen you that happy in like 10 years. It's so obvious, and you can't let anyone take that away from you." "You guys don't understand!" I say. "You're right, we don't," Rachel says, "I've never been divorced and JoJo is well, 14. Colleen, did you have an affair?" "No!" "Exactly. You know that, and that's what matters." "But how do you think it feels to be accused of it. The person I loved endlessly. The person I went through hell and back for. The person I waited my entire life to give myself to. And guess what bishes?! The divorce was final. It's been final since April of 2017. I have never felt more insecure and vulnerable in my entire life. But I love Erik. And I want to be allowed to love him." JoJo says, "you know, on every single shady tweet he puts out, there are people who defend you. Your fans know you didn't cheat. Anyone who cares about you knows the truth." "I try to believe that. What sucks is I can't even defend myself. It looks way better to keep quiet, as we all found out tonight. This tweet is a prime example that I don't see half of what he says. I can't follow him!" "Hello? Fourteen year old spy at your service," JoJo says laughing. Rachel and I laugh. "I mean, if something big happens, definitely text me. If it's not that big of a deal, just let it go. I can't be obsessing over that all the time." The rest of the being we just keep talking like we had been. JoJo and I never actually end up filming a video but...whatever. I needed this. I needed to get everything off my chest, and I needed to see what Josh has been tweeting. It validates the anger I already had towards him. He is literally trying to break me to pieces and tear my career to shreds. But it won't work because I have a boyfriend who the internet loves, bishes!...at least I think I do.
A/N don't know what that was lol. Looking to a 14 year old for advice and consolidation? Not something a typical 30 year old would do. Something Colleen would do? For sure. Anyway, I used the thing that JoJo said Colleen told her once ("I think I really like him") and tried to give it a story since I don't want these wonderfully shady tweets and comments to go to waste lol. Thanks for reading!
