The 100th Guy (English - Unedited)

[CHAPTER EIGHTEEN] Happiness

Chapter Eighteen

Happiness for the mean time

Days and nights had been cold for me. I would always wear two shirts and a jacket to warm myself. If only Philippines had winter, for sure it would be lucky to have a fire place. But the coldness was not really from the summer, but from inside of me. At night, I would prepare hot chocolate before I sleep, then cover myself with two blankets over my thick shirts. Sometimes, I would even wear socks and gloves as if Philippines had winter. I sometimes felt numbness too, like I had thick skin and it was hard for me to feel. At the first three nights of the month, I started to vomit every night. It happened usually at 2 a.m., so after the third night, Avril had to wake up at 2 and go to my room to help me.

            I had been a burden to everyone. My Mom and Dad never had an ordinary day. They would have to stay beside me, guided me as I walked or in everything I did. My Lolo sometimes took their place, but he was old and he could only be a guide. He could never do other things for me. And even though I was just seated, I knew everyone was still not at rest, because they had to settle their focus to me and in everything I did. Avril and Flip decided to postpone their honeymoon and live with us instead of having a place of their own. My Mom would tell them almost everyday, “You have to settle somewhere else, not that I don’t want you here. But you are newlyweds, you have to get some lone time.” But Flip would always say, “We’d love to stay with Midori and take care of her. And besides you just got home, I want to know my new family more,” then Avril would add, “I can’t just leave her. Just think she’s our baby.” And they would all laugh then talk of something else, like cars, showbiz or food. It happened everyday, and I would just sit at the terrace to appreciate the sounds that I would hear.

            This morning was different. My usual sickness scene would happen at night or before dawn. But as soon as I woke up, I felt that my body was heavy. I could not open my eyes to meet the sunshine from my window because my eyes felt swollen like I cried last night. It was also cold, my fingers felt like freezing. But I just thought I could be fine if I thought I could be; that it was somehow psychological. So I tried to be energetic, smiled as I rose from bed and started my day with a grateful prayer. I had to be able to stand, at least.

            When I was ready for everything, I suddenly felt like vomiting again. I waited until I felt it lumping on my throat but there was no vomiting that happened. “Mom, can you please get my medicine?” I asked in a loud voice as I started to feel dizzy. I tried to stand from being seated on my bed only to fail in the end. I fell on floor, then I felt the side table to get my medicine, but I just pushed the lamp shade on it. I heard it broke.

            “Oh—” My Mom hurried then helped me stood. I sat on my bed and drank the medicine she handed me. “Are you not feeling well? Are you really sure you’re still coming with Maisen?”

            I breathed deeply and smiled, trying my best to be okay. Maisen asked me on a date today and told me that he had already prepared everything. I did not want to disappoint him. I did not want everything he planned and prepared to go to nothing just because I was sick. I accepted him in my life as I denied all my worries and I would not just let my sickness go between us. I wanted to be normal when I would be with him. I just wanted to be happy whenever he was beside me.

            “I’m okay, Mom,” I answered.

            “Are you sure?” She reached for the glass in my hands. “I don’t think you are. You know, dear, you can go out with him on some other day if you don’t feel okay.”