Deal or No Deal?! (JhoBea)

Warning: This is not an update (For My Everything)

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 New International Version (NIV)

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

~ 🌹🥀🌷💐🌼🌻🌺🌸🥀🌹🌷~

For how many years, I stopped believing in the word LOVE. Call me bitter but I am romantic.. also hopeless 😂 Maybe the wounds of the past cuts deep that it changed my perception on love.

But over these years, as I said, I am still hopeful of that day. That day when someone will love me the way I deserve it.

I even remembered asking and joking about it as a birthday wish every birthdays. If my memory serves me right I always have the same line like this.. "Birthday ko na baka naman pwede pa birthday mo na lovelife ko.. kahit ano sige, lalaki, babae, tomboy, bakla. Kahit ano na basta tao lang na makitungo at mamahalin ako".

Then minutes later after praying, babawiin ko din naman thinking mas mahalaga na okay ang pamilya ko at may maayos akong work kaysa sa lovelife tas masasaktan ka din naman.

But I never knew HE would take it seriously..

By the year 2017, on the 13th of June at around 10:30am (my time though) YOU came along and changes the game..

I knew the moment you said "I want to know you personally author" there was something about you and I can feel it sagad hanggang bone marrow ko.

It's a feeling of, woah may tao pa palang gusto akong kilalanin. From a comment down to those words, we had a deep conversation about things. JhoBea, sexuality, and life.

I felt an instant connection with YOU. Can't explain really but it's so deep like bago ko pa man sabihin parang nababasa mo na ang iniisip ko. Sabi ko nga "Jusko Lord siya na ba yung hinihingi ko sayo?"

But the dilemma was that I don't have a background of you, as in zero coz we're both a total strangers. Next to that is our miles away from each other. And let's not forget we're both pretty gals 🤣

But as I said, our convo got deep over the day. Tama nga yata yung narinig ko na "it only takes 4 hours for a person to fall in love".

I did.. I did fall..

Pwede pala yun no? Na mainlove ka sa isang tao sa loob ng 24 hours. Pero of course, deny to death tayo parehas.
Umamin lang tayo na parehas tayong confuse. Pero most likely BI tayo kasi we can be both into boys and girls. Kaya I dared na "be my online girlfriend" kasi sabi mo you never had one and so do I. And you said it's cool, and we agreed. Pero parehas natin alam na biro lang ang lahat kaya you said "No Demands, No expectations, No Labels, No nothing".

And so the deal was made. I agreed and even joked "don't fall in love with me". The moves diba, sabi mo pa nga kapal ko (ouch yun ah) pero the truth is I'm scared.

That's why on the third day I made another deal, "NO FALLING INLOVE". But I knew to myself I screwed up. Kasi nahuhulog na ako sayo.

I was so scared.. kasi for the first time I felt loved. The kind of love I always wanted. The way you talk to me, the way you handle me, the way you calm me.. it's different.

I was so scared to love you kasi I feel na di ako marunong magmahal dahil pinatigas na ng panahon ang puso ko. Baka masaktan lang kita. Ang daming pag-aadvance thinking ginawa ko. Pero above it all, I am already scared to loose you then.