Crestfallen

Chapter 9

March 14 

(9:00 p.m) 

"Girls, Peter wants you on stage at nine thirty to sing," Kevin explained as the girls adjusted costumes. "After that he will announce the song you shall be singing for the group besides About You. He will probably choice something by either Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, or something along those lines so just do your best with knowing what to sing." 

Lilium nodded instead of spoke in reply to Kevin's comment. She was in no mood to listen to him nag to them about what she already knew. Her focus was on what she saw in Peter? She had never felt that dirty looking at anyone other than Crina that way before. She saw him as handsome, however, she knew it was right to love a man. Lilium still felt wrong with even thinking about someone other than Crina in a romantic way. 

Then again, is homosexuality wrong? Who knows what is wrong and what is right? The only thing that mattered to Lilium then and there was making sure she never felt this strongly again. She wanted to run and hide and try to think about what had happened but she couldn't. Those cameras would follow her and listen in on her conversation with her mother or someone else. 

Her mother had been very supportive of Lilium through all of her troubles. From having to kiss Crina in the About You video to stress of recording an album. She'd been disappointed in Lilium for having feelings for Crina at first but dismissed them as her getting to far into the game they had been playing for so long. If only her mother knew what her daughter was going though. 

Lilium's nerves were nearly dead when Crina said, "Okay, we are ready to perform when you are Kevin," Crina rolled her eyes when Kevin looked pissed off at her comment. 

Crina was different from Lilium, she was braver, stronger, and above all more powerful than Lilium ever was and ever will be. She was perfect, she was the perfect woman, strong and able to get what she wanted all by just rearing men or women to do it for her. Crina was what Lilium wanted, but could never be. 

Maybe this is why she was attracted to her? Power and strength that came from Crina was what Lilium wanted. Nothing more than that... No, if that were true she'd be tougher by now. Crina was a crush, a crush that had turned far worse by kissing and love. She was in love with Crina, and she had just told Crina she did nearly two hours ago. 

Crina couldn't know she loved her! Gosh, for one thing it is just wrong! No, she had to stop thinking about Crina for once in the past year. She was all she could think of, she was going mad. Lilium couldn't and would never stop thinking about Crina, she was best off in some sort of mental health institute. 

"All right, now have a good time and remember to kiss," Kevin said in a rather you better do this or suffer voice. 

"Yeah blah blah blah, kiss, blah, The Wizard of Oz," Crina said and stuck her tongue out at Kevin after he turned to walk away. 

The camera man sure got that on camera. This is something Crina could do, make a complete full out of herself and in the end not care a bit about what people thought about her. She wanted to be like that, she knew she could but there was always the risk. 

Lilium giggled in her usual way, just to make sure Crina thought everything was normal with Lilium tonight. She didn't need Crina to think that there was anything wrong with her, otherwise they'd have another long and uncomfortable conversation like they did about Peter. That conversation ended with Crina and Lilium in a quick hug. 

"Crina I don't think we're in Kanas anymore," Lilium said with a broad smile on her face as she peered out from the hall way into the ballroom. "The munchkins are in there gossiping, and some guy looks like the Wizard of Oz himself."