Coincidence? →️The Hobbit fanfic

VI

The group walked ahead and found a cave where they could stay. "Looks safe enough." Thorin commented, "Search in the back, caves in the mountains are seldom unoccupied."

Dwalin held up a light and went looking. "There's nothing here," he told Thorin as he came back.

"Right, then." Gloin threw pieces of wood onto the cave floor and rubbed his hands, "Let's get a fire started."

"No. No fires. Not in this place." Thorin walked through the cave with his sword in hand, "Get some sleep. We start at first light."

As Thorin began to talk with Balin, Erlanda made herself comfortable on the cave floor. Well, as comfortable as one could be on the hard stone floor. The coldness was seeping through the blanket she had covered herself with. 

She shivered but managed to fall asleep after a long while until a shout woke her. "Wake up!" Thorin yelled, "Wake up!"

Before she could fully stand, the ground under her opened up, making her fall down with a surprised yelp. She harshly landed on a Dwarf as they fell onto a stone slide and slithered down along with stone and sand.

Their loud and rough sliding experience ended abruptly as they fell into a strange contraption of wood and metal. The Dwarves were groaning as they landed on top of each other and Erlanda wheezed as Gloin landed on top of her.

"Get up! Get up!" they yelled at each other as hordes of ugly, hairless creatures came running at them, weapons in hand. The Dwarves, who were largely outnumbered, tried to scramble to their feet but were quickly grabbed by bony hands. They tried to fight themselves out but more and more Goblins came crawling up the walls beneath them.

They were led over a wobbly bridge and Erlanda feared that she would lose her footing but there were too many goblins around her to make it possible to fall off the edge. They were dragged along and as the cave got brighter, lightened with blazing torches, the Goblin's around them started to make what they must consider music while hitting onto various metal objects. They began to sing or croak and shake the Company as they dragged them forwards.

Clap! Snap! The black crack!

Grip, grab! Pinch, nab!

And down down to Goblin-town

You go, my lad!

They sang as the manoeuvred the Dwarves forward to an even bigger, even uglier Goblin sitting on a throne.

Clash, crash! Crush, smash!

Hammer and tongs! Knocker and gongs!

Pound, pound, far underground!

Ho, ho! my lad!

The Company was brought closer to the giant Goblin who had now stood up and begun dancing as he sang loudly.

Swish, smack! Whip crack!

Batter and beat! yammer and bleat!

Work, work! Nor dare to shirk,

While Goblins quaff, and Goblins laugh,

Round and round far underground

Below, my lad!

The terrible song echoed off the walls as the giant Goblin pounded on the floor with a staff he was holding. They were now close enough that Erlanda could see a crown of bones atop the Goblins head, who was not only tall but also fat. His stomach almost hung to the floor and his chest looked like that of an old woman and was almost entirely covered by his chin fat that hung from his face and covered up every evidence that he may have a neck.

The Goblins that had brought the Company to him danced along with his singing, even as he poked one onto his staff and threw him through the air. He turned around once and Erlanda turned away in disgust as they could see his poorly covered rear. The Goblin finished his song and sat on what seemed to be a throne.

The Dwarves were disarmed and one Goblin took away the small dagger Erlanda had strapped around her hip. Their weapons were thrown onto the floor at the Goblin Kings feet, who stood up again and leaned down to look at them, "Who is so bold to come armed into my Kingdom?" Standing up again he asked, "Spies? Thieves? Assassins?"

"Dwarves, your malevolence." one told him.

"Dwarves?" the Great Goblin's voice boomed.

The Goblin who had spoken before stepped forward. " We found them on the front porch"

The Goblin grew angry, making the fat from his chin wobble as he moved around. "What are you doing on these paths?" Nobody answered, "Speak!" The continued to be silent, "Very well, if they will not talk, we'll make them squawk! Bring out the mangler! Bring out the bone breaker! Start with the youngest."

"Wait!" Thorin yelled, "Thorin the dwarf at your service." Erlanda knew nothing of Dwarf customs but she was sure that this was one of them as it seemed to polite to be Thorin's own words.

"Well, well, well, look who it is!" he looked at the Goblins around him, "Thorin, son of Thrain son of Thror, King under the Mountain." he made a mocking bow, the goblins around him laughing. "Oh but I forgot, you don't have a mountain and you're not a King which makes you nobody, really." there was a moment of silence before the King continued, "I know someone who would pay a pretty price for your head. Just the head, nothing attached. Perhaps you know of whom I speak. An old enemy of yours. A pale Orc, astride a white Warg." He leaned back again, waiting for Thorin's reaction.

"Arzog the Defiler was destroyed." The Dwarf growled. "He was slain in battle long ago!"

"So you think his defiling days are done, do you?" he laughed and turned to a very small goblin sitting in a wooden contraption that hung on a long rope. "Send word to the pale Orc, tell him I have found his prize." The small thing swung away laughing.

The goblins brought out giant instruments of torture as the King started singing again.

Bones will be shattered, necks will be wrung.

You'll be beaten and battered, from racks you'll be hung.

You will die down here and be found,

down in the deep of Goblin Town!

The Company tried to get the goblin's hands of them as they suddenly something clanked onto the wooden floor. Erlanda saw that it was Thorin's sword. The Great Goblin stopped his song and gave a howl of rage, "Murderers and elf-friends! I know that sword! It's the Goblin-cleaver!" The goblins around them broke out into chaos, trying to kill the Dwarves, who fought back bravely.

"Slash them! Beat them! Bite them! Gnash them! Take them away to holes full of snakes and never let them see light again!" Erlanda tried prying off the hands of the goblins that held her arms and she saw that a few goblins were holding down Thorin, "Cut off his head!" The Great Goblin yelled and his subjects were about to do so as an explosion of white light filled the cave, throwing the goblins through the air and away from the Company.

Erlanda looked up from where she had been thrown to the floor and saw the silhouette of a tall man, staff in one hand a sword in the other and atop his head a pointy hat. Gandalf.

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