House of Gold // Adopted by Tyler Joseph

Hiatus

           Hiatus had started. It was a business tactic, and Dad needed a mental break. We went into hiding, as in 'might as well live off the grid and hunt for our dinner'.

I hated it. Why did I have to get dragged into this? I couldn't go out with Austin, Alex or any friends for that matter.

Hadn't flown anywhere on vacation, or gone to LA for business much. It was killing my career.

In fact, we had a personal assistant now, someone who hand delivered us groceries. It was making me crazy, no outside contact with the real world. But I knew Mom and Dad needed it. They were better than ever, like newly weds. Always clinging onto each other.

"Dad, Austin is picking me up." I grabbed my oversized hoodie and sunglasses out of routine. It was night, the only time we were allowed to see each other. I know, crazy. If someone had even snapped a photo of me, (it happened once in LA) Dad would ground me.

Hiatus was bringing Mom and Dad closer, but it'd driven a wedge between Austin and I.

"Be careful. Love you." He seemed nervous as I rolled my eyes. I couldn't wait for this to end. It wasn't fair, the way Mom got to be active on Social Media, but I had to stay silent.

I walked out of the house and into my boyfriend's car. It reeked of cigarettes and air fresheners. He even rolled his eyes at me with a hood on, I kept the sunglasses in my purse out of pure embarrassment.

My hair was blonde too, and I wore less makeup, just to throw off paps in case they did get a photo of me. But soon enough I'd dye it back to black.

"Baby." He led me up the elevator to his cheap hotel, I giggled and immediately dug through my overnight bag. Heading for the bathroom, I changed into skimpy silk pajamas. Hopefully it'd make up for me not being able to go out with him.

As I was about to strut out and surprise him, he held my phone angrily, seeing an incoming call from Alex. "Really Lily?"

"Relax, go through my phone if you insist I'm cheating." I huffed.

He shook his head and instead muttered an apology. His hands found my waist and he leaned over to kiss me. Soon we were in his sheets.

"I want you so bad." I breathed as he removed his shorts and shirt. We'd started having sex months ago, after his outburst, claiming I still had feelings for Alex. And months ago it seemed awkward and hopeless. But in my head, now it seemed to keep us together. It was all legal in Ohio, me being seventeen and Austin nineteen.

But my phone rang out as I undressed. Dad.

"Fucking hell, put that on silent Lils." He cursed as I got up from his lap.

"It's my Dad." I told him.

"Fine. Answer it." He groaned.

"Hello?" My voice was soft.

"Uhm, Alex is here, waiting for you." Dad put on the voice that signaled he was in her presence. That friendly parent voice.

"Like, in our house?" I grew frustrated.

"One moment Alex." Dad told her as I waited for him to continue. He left the living room I assumed. "You want me to be the bad guy and tell her to go home? You know how late it is? She got a ride here and I feel–"

"YES!" I grew impatient. "Nobody has her coming out in the middle of the night anyways, and Austin is in town."

"I don't have the heart-" Dad started as Austin grew angry.

"What's so important Lily. Jesus!"

"One sec babe." I sighed. "Fine hand the phone over to her." There was shuffling as I heard her hello. "Alex, hey I'm busy right now–"

"You're talking to that bitch?" Austin spoke as I suddenly wasn't in the mood.

"Fuck you–" I spoke.

"–Lily what?" Alex said in a hurt tone.

"Not you Alex, Austin." I tried explaining as Austin grabbed my phone angrily and hung up.

"I KNOW YOU'RE NOT TALKING TO ME LIKE THAT." He spat, holding his phone above his head.

"Give me my fucking phone back you–"

"I knew it, you're nothing but a cheater." He looked at me with disgust.

"You're nothing but insecure. Fucking hell." I grabbed my coat and purse angrily.

"The fuck are you going?" He got up.

"Home. Away from you."

"Have fun walking. Be my fucking guest and go cheat on me, because we're through!" He let those words linger in the air.

"I'm not risking anything for you. FUCK YOU." I grabbed his car keys as he ran after me. I ran down the hotel halls, but walked when we entered the lobby.

The last thing I needed was a scene and people to find me. Workers peered at Austin fast walking behind me. Calling my name to get my attention.

As soon as I reached the lot, he grabbed me. "Austin I'm not kidding. Take me the fuck home." I spat.

He got into the drivers side, as hotel workers looked curiously at us arguing. I slammed the car door shut and turned away from him.

"Lily. We're NOT over. Cmon, we can figure this out. I forgive you."

"You FORGIVE ME?! I never cheated. God just drive!"

He hit the steering wheel as angry tears fell from his face. I jumped slightly, thinking he might hit me. He wouldn't, it was just my PTSD.

"Goddammit I know I'm not perfect. I don't deserve you with my addictions and insecurities, but I love you Lily." He cried to himself as I just stared. When I didn't respond he sniffed and shifted into reverse.

When he pulled into my driveway I looked at him. "I'm so sorry Austin. It's just not working out."

He sobbed even harder, as I reached for his hand. "I'm so sorry." The porch light turned on outside, Dad knew we were home.

"My feelings for you were real. But it's over. Goodbye." My hands left his cold ones, as I trudged back inside.

Alex was there waiting on my couch, Dad and Mom looking at me in concern.

"What happened sweetie?" Mom asked.

"We just broke up."

||-//

I didn't allow myself to cry I front of them. No. But Alex stared at me with worry as I didn't enjoy our innocent sleepover. Truth was my feelings were gone for Alex. Although I sensed hers stayed. I felt numb.

Two people cared for me and loved me, yet both had troubles I couldn't handle. Was I in the wrong? Was I selfish?

Alex used to be borderline psycho, verbally abusive, traits she'd inherited from her parent's toxic household.

And Austin. He let his addictions control him, which is why he never made it far in the industry, as I thought he should've. He deserved better, if only he'd smoke weed less, and not let paranoia and his insecurities get the best of him.

At one point I loved them both. I'd shared intimacy with Austin, and discovered my sexuality with Alex. But it wasn't a choosing game. I didn't have feelings for either of them. Maybe it was the scarce visits we had with this hiatus, or maybe it was just me being selfish.

Either way, hiatus ended in a couple days, it may have been just all my fault.