Blonde Ivory

12: Kasey Afolabi

Kasey Afolabi (Drummer of Blonde Ivory)

"Kasey," A rattling drunk Macha barges into my room carrying a half empty bottle of some cheap vodka, "You will not- not- not bel- believe this." She cackles and I groan, barely awake enough to handle whatever dumb conversation she's trying to start with me at... What time is it again?

I glance over at my bedside table and try to understand the blinking fluorescent green numbers. 2:58. "Macha, it's fucking- it's barely passed noon, you asshole. Get the fuck out!" I scream at her, but instead my voice comes out in a more croaky squeak. Yes, very threatening, the voice of a fourteen-year-old boy.

"Oh, Miss Grouchy, forgot you could be such a cock when you're hungover." She giggles her way into my room, sitting down at the edge of my bed. I cover my head with my pillow, hoping that she'll be too enticed in her dumb drunk head to notice that I'm suffocating myself. "Listen, listen, you know that kid- what's his name? The guy we went to school with. He was in Shiloh's math class Sophomore year. What was it? Greys- no. Maybe Greg- no." I roll my eyes and clench my fist to my side.

I swear to god if this dumb blonde doesn't get the fuck out of my face this early in the damn morning, I'm gonna punch her so hard in the head that she'll forget her own mom's name. It won't be that hard for her to remember, she's white after all, so all she has to do is think of all the white suburban mom names. The whole situation will be similar to this one right now. Susan? No. Karen? No. Carol? No. Pam? No. Helen? No, you fucking dumb blonde, her name's Aileen.

"Macha, I don't give a single fuck." I grumble and she tears the pillow from my hands, throwing it onto my floor.

She laughs, laying down beside me, and cuddling into my chest. "You know you care. It's the guy I used to date, you know, the skinny guy with the skunk hair?" I sigh, trying to fight the annoyance and frustration bubbling up in my stomach.

I roll over onto my left side, hoping that she'll take my hint to politely fuck off. She doesn't. She wraps her arm over my side and interlocks our legs. Her cold feet touch mine and I'm two nerves away from pushing her in the floor.

"No, I don't care. Not this early in the morning." She laughs again, and I kick her in the shin. "Laugh one more time in my ear, I dare you. Laugh one more fucking time." I whisper to myself, and I doubt she hears me as she keeps talking about the stupid guy she fucked Freshman year. Gabriel. His name is Gabriel.

"You will once you hear what's happened." She grips my stomach with her hands as she continues on with her stupid story that I could not care any less about, "So, I was looking through my old private facebook feed, as one does, and I saw his profile picture in my friends list, and I thought 'Hmmm, why not?' Well, I find all these messages between him and this really skinny latina and I'm just like 'What the fuck? He usually dates blondes, what's all this about?' Right? I message him saying, you know, 'Hey, it's me, the chick who took your virginity. Just wanted to say hi and see how your life is going. Also who's the latina?' He gets back to me, no joke, five seconds later. You know what he told me?" She stops her long ass speech for me to actually guess as if I give a shit. I roll over onto my other side and she stares me right in the eyes, urging me to guess.

I pretend to think it over. "He claims you got him pregnant because you got that girl band money?" She snorts, shaking her head and screaming out a loud 'NOOOO' as if my idea was credible anyhow.