Stuck Forever With You

Kabanata 11

Kabanata 11

Samaniego?

I stared at her name hanggang sa mawala ito. She called again and like just what I did on her first call. I only stared at it. I can't seem to move my hand and fingers.

You only have to touch it, Lyrae! Why can't you do it? It's for all of your questions! So... why?

His phone kept on ringing. It's already catching too much attention. It's already going on for like minutes. Three? Five missed calls? I don't care and I don't want to know.

And so I turned it off.

Ano ba talagang meron sakanilang dalawa? Fuck buddy? Certainly not.

The way he held her and the way the twins called her seems like she's special to them. And whenever I go back to that night, my heart refuses too. It's like it knows it won't give me anything but a heartache.

They were having fun while I'm on that dark hallway... crying. Thinking why I wasn't enough for him to stay.

Maybe because I was no longer fun?

Such a pity. And no matter how hard I try not to think ahead of things. I still will. I'll conclude ahead because I don't want to get hurt again in the end. I've never liked surprises that's why I will always put up a conclusion about us ahead. So I won't be surprised if ever something happened that can hurt me again. Being prepared can inflict less pain. I hope.

"Hey," napaangat ang tingin ko sa kaniya. Ang bilis ng oras. Nasa harap ko na pala siya nang hindi ko namamalayan dahil lunod sa pag iisip habang nakatitig sa phone niya. I totally spaced out.

His stance is irritating. Nakalagay pa ang dalawa niyang kamay sa baywang habang nakadungaw sa 'kin.

I think he saw me checking him out. He smiled in full blown arrogance as if I should know he's aware that I'm checking him out and be somehow amazed that their team won because of him when it's clearly just a try out for the freshmen.

Umupo siya tabi ko at kinuha ang bote ng Gatorade sa may tabi. He looked at my hands and saw his phone kaya ibinigay ko na ito ng hindi siya nililingon.

Walang kwenta. Hindi ko manlang nagamit 'yan dahil sa babae mo.

"Lowbatt."

Hindi na siya nagtanong pa at mabilisang isinilid nalang iyon sa bag niya at bumaling sa akin. Nakapatong na ang magkabila niyang kamay sa sandalan ng kinauupuan namin at nakadekwatro kaya para itong naka akbay sa akin.

I only looked at the court but I can see on my peripheral vision that he's still looking at me like he's trying to solve a puzzle.

Am I challenging? Do I keep you challenged the reason why I'm still here... with you?

Pero hanggang sa maging kami nalang ang tao dito sa loob ng gym. All of my questions remained unanswered on my head. Ako nalang ang sasagot. Ako naman lagi.

Tumayo na ako at binitbit ang bag ko bago tumingin sa kaniya na gulat saking biglaang pagtayo.

"Tara na," I didn't ask him that. I somehow commanded him.

I hope the coldness on my tone would cover up what I'm feeling. And sometimes I think that it's better not to feel anything.

Mabilis ang naging lakad ko but he was able to keep up with my pace. Of course with that long legs of his kahit yata tumakbo ako ay mahahabol niya ako just by jogging.

"Hey," hindi ko siya pinansin at diretsong tingin lang na naglakad.

"Lyー" I'm so sick of all the explanations. I'm so sick of all the unanswered questions.