Chris Evans/Steve Rogers one shots

Thunderstorms

30.) I'm sorry, I cant be the person you want me to be.
40.) there's over seven billion people in this world and you are the only one I'd die for.
Jordiefinn

Thunderstorms, they used to make you feel calm in a way words could never describe. The sound of chaos rippling through the air with each bolt of white light. The soothing sound of wind howling late at night, as the deluge of rain poured from the heavens. It would bring you a tranquility you never realized you needed, that even nature herself needed an outlet to burn off her rage.
All that changed one night in the early morning hours, as the city slept in its peaceful slumber you were wide awake watching as lighting etched its way across the inky night sky. Late night storms brought to back to your childhood memories and moments of past joys with your father telling stories of fierce battles between angels and demons. Their dynamic fights, in pursuit of controlling the mortals on earth.
It all changed with a simple sentence and a heart breaking reply.
You laid your head on the back of the couch watching out the rain streaked window, your closest friend sitting next to you, reading his book. You sighed as another round of electricity coursed through the darkened world behind the windows. Thunder rumbling through the air, a small smile on your face.
"You know it's an amazing sight just watching." You smiled. "The feeling of watching storms, it's almost romantic."
"I'm sorry, I can't be the person you want me to be." Steve stated, catching you off guard.
You weren't even sure where that had come from, but the sentence hung heavy in the air. Slowly you lifted your head, pulling your gaze from the window your eyes landing on Steve. He had closed his book at some point, laying it in his lap, his head was in his hands. A bolt struck through the air, even if at the time you had never thought about it, it broke your heart.
"What?" You asked softly, Steve lifted his head staring straight out into the living space Tony had created for everyone.
"Whatever this is between us, it can't." He sighed, you could see how tense his face was, he ran his hand through his air. It was a tic he had when he was stressed, nervous or upset, one that only you seemed to notice. "I can't, I can't be what you want or what you deserve."
"Steve, I never.." he stood abruptly cutting you off.
"You didn't but.." he trailed off, finally looking down at you, making eye contact with you for the first time since his bizarre declaration.
There was pain and sadness in those twin pools of blue, he took in a deep breath and for a moment he seemed like he wanted to say more. Suddenly he turned and walked out of the room leave you confused and upset. It's not like you had asked him to be romantic with you, or ask him out in anyway.
    You knew you cared deep for the super soldier and maybe there could of been more but the chance never sprang up. But to know that you would never stood a chance even if you wanted one, it hurt to know.
     That moment in time was two months ago, and now, you were fighting side by side with the mass of muscle known as James Barnes. There was four of you that had been dropped off at a hydra base, the goal was to infiltrate and bring it down. But they were ready, and before either of you knew it the hall you had been was overwhelmed with Hydra Soldier.
      You could hear the storm raging outside the building, your heart racing. Mother Nature making things difficult, your mood had soured before you even stepped off the foot of the jet. And now you were in thick of it.
    "Steve we need back up!" Bucky shouts in his com unit as you emptied another clip towards the fast approaching assailants from around the corner.
     "Is y/n with you?" Steve's panicked voice came through crystal clear.
    "Yes!" Bucky shouted over your gun fire.
    "We're on our way!" You heard Steve shout back through your ear piece.
    "Buck, I'm out!" You shouted, flattening your back against the cool cement.
     You looked over at him, your breath coming out heavy, your body tense.
    "If we split I can draw the majority out, and you can make a run for it." He stated, leaning around you to take a peak. The blast from the gun sending concrete dust off the wall opposite of you.
    Bucky ducted back in, the side you were on was a dead end.  The hall on the other side of the opening was clear as you could tell, doors lining both sides. You looked down the hall and then looked back at Bucky.
   "No, we stick together." You shook your head.
    "Look, I'll be fine. You.. you need to go." He stated more sternly taking on an authoritative tone.
      "And I told you no." You replied, pulling your knife from your hip.
     "Screw it." He stepped out into the hall, bullets whizzing past him. Your eyes went wide as his body left from view. "Go!"
    "God damn it!" You hissed under your breath, booking at across the opening.
    Bucky had one last clip for his weapon and he was taking his time methodically shooting people. You sprinted down the corridor, passing door after door hoping the one at the end of the hall would lead to safety. You hit door as pain blossomed out from you side, your body lurched against the slightly opened door. You never heard your shooter until the shot had happened.
    The pain started to intensify, light from the outside spilling in while a shadow stood over you. You don't remembering the ensuing gunfire, all you remember was the glimpse of red, white, and blue. You pulled yourself to your knees, pressing your hand to your side.
    "Steve?" You asked softly, watching as he sprinted back out the door, Bucky in tow.
    His step didnt falter as he whisked you up off your feet. Jogging to the quiz-jet, cradling tight to his body. Thunder rolled heavily through the air, as Steve's face was tense. The only thought running through your mind was he didn't think he could be what you wanted. All you wanted was your closeness back, your friend, your Steve.
     You hadn't realized you had passed out till you came to in the med bay. Slowly you opened your eyes, feeling a bit lost. Your eyes landing the captain, his smiled when he saw you look at him.
    "I'm sorry." He said softly, a sadness in his voice.
     "For what?" You asked, he wasn't the one that shot you.
      "For not keeping you safe." He replied, reaching out taking your hand.
     The world outside the window behind him was dark, the flicker of a long distance light off the distance.
      "Steve.." you sighed.
      "There's over seven billion people on this planet and you are the only one I would die for." His soft reply came as he squeezed your hand tightly.
      "What did you think I wanted you to be?" You asked, looking down at the hand that held yours so firmly.
      "You wanted me to be your friend, and I... I realized I wanted more." The intensity of his eyes baring into you. "You deserve better, someone who can be there always for you. With me there is no guarantee."
     "Hey.." you smiled pointing to your bandage up bullet wound. "I could say that as well."
    "Guess you could." He chuckled.
     "So..." you trailed off, he leaned over and placed a tender kiss on your lips.