I've been swamped with work and I've literally been so tired but I'm so happy to have a few days off to write
I wanna thank all of you being so sweet and understanding I stan supportive queens
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ANGER I don't do the five stages of grief. I'm a pretty direct person. I never tend to go through denial or bargaining when grieving, so thankfully I get to go through a quicker three steps rather than five on my way towards recovery. This means I start off with anger.
It may come as a shock for most of you when I say that I'm really not angry very often, but when I am there is nothing that beats therapy in the form of feeling like you're beating someone else.
I recently went through a bit of a hiccup myself and I found myself playing Wii Sports at the ungodly hours of the early morning last Saturday.
I would like—
"Scotty." Poppy's fingers snapping in front of my eyes brings me out of the zone I've submerged myself in. "Did you hear what I said?"
I pull my earbuds out and close my laptop and my ears are instantly swimming in the chatter of the café I'm sitting in. "No, what's up?"
"I'm thinking about going another direction with the cake."
"Again?"
"Yeah."
"Poppy, the wedding is only a few weeks away," I remind her. "If you keep doing this you won't have a cake at all."
"Just tell me what you think when I say pistachio."
"Disgusting." She frowns. "Stick with the lemon. It's classy and fresh."
"Do people like lemon cake though?"
"If people don't like citrus flavored anything they're probably sociopaths."
"Calum is a chef, he would know this," she mumbles. "I'm really bummed that I won't be meeting him at the wedding now."
"Me too," I sigh. "Everything was so good."
"Boys suck."
"You're getting married to one."
"Doesn't mean he doesn't suck."
...
"Scotty." My head snaps up and Victoria is glaring down at me with such intensity that I find myself gulping.
"Yes?"
"Your concept for the online articles is ingenious." I release a breath I didn't even know I was holding. "But I'm questioning the timing. It's not up to the mood I need. My therapist tells me I need positive outlooks on love around me, and well, your piece made me almost go back to reliving my darkest moments with Richard."
"I'm sorry."
"And I asked for a preview of your next one because I don't want to be slapped in the face with another reminder that men are awful creatures."
"But I—"
"I asked for it to be on my desk an hour ago. Where is it?"
"I don't have it yet." I can't lie to Victoria, I'm pretty sure she'd find out and then quietly make me disappear.
"You what?"
"I said I don't have it!" I've never raised my voice at Victoria before but I can't stop myself. "I'm a mess right now, Victoria. And do you want to know the truth? Your therapist can suck it because guys do suck even if you have a positive outlook on your relationship. He's gonna mess it up even if you yourself think everything is going well, because men are spineless fucks who only care about themselves."
"Excuse me?"
"I'm sorry, but it's the truth. Boys suck and we shouldn't be afraid to admit it."
"Do I even want to know what he did to you?"
"Besides the fact that our entire relationship was a lie? No, I don't think you want to know."
"Oh thank God," she sighs and I frown. "I am so glad he messed it up."
"What?"
"I just need someone to relate to right now, Scotty, so I'm sorry but your misfortune could not have come at a better time. I haven't admitted it, but my marriage is falling apart once again. I want to stab our therapist with my stiletto; yes, partly because of her annoying voice but also because I am pretty sure she is sleeping with my husband."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, Victoria."
"It feels good having gotten that off my chest. Now please be a doll and have Arden cancel any upcoming appointments with that slag and then have her file for a divorce."
"You want Arden to break it off between you and Richard for you?"
"Is that not what I just said?"
"I guess..."
"Then good, get her to do it."
"Where is Amanda?" Amanda is Victoria's PA and she holds the record for surviving an entire year tending to Victoria's needs. We are all very impressed. "Shouldn't she be doing this?"
"Amanda is no longer with us," she tells me. "She was run over a few days ago while picking up my lunch for me."
"Oh my God, she died?"
"God no!" Victoria humors. "She's recovering in the hospital. But she is obviously fired. I was late to a meeting because of her mishap."
"I'll make sure to send her a bouquet in your name."
"Thank you, Scotty. And while you're at it, give Calum a slap from me for being an absolute asshole."
