Why do men think it's ok to just go up to girls and touch them??
We don't do that bc we haven't grown up thinking we can have whatever we like the way they have. They even think they can have other people.
I am appalled.
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The club which Emma and Arden have dragged me to in order to get wasted for New Year's Eve is loud and usually I wouldn't mind having lights in different colors flashing in my eyes but tonight they're giving me a headache.
I am two shots of tequila and a cosmopolitan in and after giving it a solid effort on the dance floor for a good half an hour I decide to call it quits.
And it's not because I don't want to see Luke, because he called and asked me if it was all right for him to come with Ashton since he and Emma worked things out—after him being properly scolded by a furious Emma.
"Hey, Emma!"
"Yeah?"
"I think I'm gonna head home."
"No!" she pouts. "It's almost midnight."
"I don't think I want to be here when the ball drops." Being here alone while both my friends have boyfriends to kiss doesn't sound very appealing to me. "I'm just gonna go home and plan out my online articles."
"You're gonna work on New Years?"
"Being here right now just reminds me of the fact that I'm alone."
"Do you want me to come with?" she asks and I appreciate how understanding she is. "Because I'll totally come with you."
I shake my head. "No. Go have fun with Luke."
"Make sure you text me when you get home so I know you're safe." I nod and she pulls me into a quick and sweaty hug. "Bye, Skittle."
"Bye, Ems."
I push my way through the crowds of people and get my things at the coatcheck. I button my coat up just as I step outside into the cool air and I regret wearing heels as my bare feet are snowed on. I walk around for a minute until I reach Times Square and I'm looking up at the ball. I don't count down along with the herds of people who have come out to partake in the tradition and when the ball has dropped and people start locking lips I shove my hands deeper into my coat pockets and turn to head home.
My breath gets caught in the back of my throat when I walk out of the elevator to head to the apartment door and I see Calum sitting on the floor with his knees pulled to his chest and his head buried in them. He looks up when he hears the jingle my keys make when I bring them out.
"You shouldn't be here." He stands up and I've never seen him look so disheveled before.
"You've been out," he says and I let my eyes fall to the floor.
"Emma and Arden thought I needed a night out."
"What are you doing back here then?"
"I wasn't having much fun," I tell him. "I went to see the ball drop."
"Alone?"
"Yeah," I nod. "Have you been waiting here for long?"
"A couple hours," he shrugs.
"Why?"
"There's only one person I want a New Years kiss from."
"Luke's with Emma," I say and he cracks a smile. "Besides, it's already past midnight."
"Still counts." I suck in a breath when he dips his head down and his hand finds its way to the back of my neck, but I don't stop him. The kiss is slow and it's everything I've wanted for the past few days.
My mind is yelling for me to stop and I decide to listen to it. When I meet Calum's eyes after I pull away I can see that he looks unsure. "I can't do this."
"Scotty." I turn around and unlock the door, though it takes a moment since my hand in shaking as I try to put in the key. "Scotty."
When I turn back around my eyes are filled with tears and I mentally scold myself for crying so much. "You need to give me some time."
"What we need to do is talk," he says and he brings a hand up to wipe at my tears. "I don't want space, I want to be with you. I've barely been sleeping without you."
"You broke my heart, Calum. You really fucking broke it. And I'm dehydrated all the time because I cry so much and that's so bad for my skin."
"I still have some of that moisturizer if you wanna borrow it."
"Don't joke while I'm crying," I sob. "The alcohol is wearing off and I'm super thirsty right now. And I'm tired and my feet hurt and I'm cold and my hair is wet from the snow so I just want to go inside and drink some water and go to sleep."
"Can I come in with you?"
"I don't think that's a good idea." I turn to open the door and I step inside the apartment but turn back to face Calum. "Right now time is the only thing that will help me heal."
I shut the door and a moment later I hear Calum's fist collide with the door. "Scotty, open the door. Please don't do this, I love you."
I lean my back against the door and slide down to the floor and I let the tears fall freely. A few minutes later I hear how Calum walks away down the hallway.
