The Reluctant Adventures of Pigglebottom Broadsword

Chapter Twenty-Four

As Pigglebottom squeezed himself between the remaining two sweaty overweight bodies of the screaming crowd, he breathed a breath of relatively fresh air. Unable to previously see his surroundings upon entering the Coliseum due to being in a sea of bodies, he could now see the vast square that sat in front of the arena. Countless food sellers, each with a little cart and each producing an odd and disconcerting smell of some sort beckoned at Pigglebottom, attempting to coax him into shelling out his hard-earned cash for a confusing looking morsel of food. The smell of one stall, which was entitled 'Sloppy Clemises' was enough to have him running in the opposite direction directly out of the gigantic archway back to the dusty streets of Barbarianous. After finishing his few hundred metre sprint, Pigglebottom decided to rest his body and take a short moment for quiet reflection. He'd totally lost track of how long it'd been since he'd started this particular 'adventure' and felt no closer to actually finding the lost sludgy boy for his fellow Brown End citizen. Having encountered The Order of The Ooze, it was clear their base of operations extended far throughout the kingdom and were clearly not a force to be reckoned with, especially if they were all capable of swallowing people whole. Pigglebottom was certainly no closer to locating the child and had barely even considered formulating a plan for their combined escape upon locating. The small scrap of information regarding where the Order's headquarters was located was the only information Pigglebottom had to go on, he had no idea if the child would even be there, however, as it was his only clue he had no choice but to follow it through. Pigglebottom sat very quietly on a bench on one of the quieter streets for some time until the night began to draw closer in. Noticing a sudden nip in the air and an icy wind whistling through the narrow streets, he decided he should look for a place to rest his weary bones. As he stumbled through alleyways and darkened street corners, complete with the requisite intimidating individuals loitering around, he began to become increasingly frustrated and decided he would settle on whichever motel or inn he arrived at first, provided the price was reasonable of course. After 7 right turns and countless left turns throughout what appeared to Pigglebottom to be a maze of endless rows of houses all of which looked the same, he stumbled upon a building that stood out amongst the rest. A giant, flashing neon sign hung above the golden, incredibly heavy-looking door which read "Slim Willies' Prim an' Proper Fop Lopper". Despite its gaudy appearance (the windows had been blacked out and replaced with murals of a man battling some sort of winged beast), and the fact that it had been suggested to him earlier by the shifty, he decided he would enter upon noticing the small green sign next to the door which stated unequivocally 'rooms ALWAYS available'.

Knocking on the door, Pigglebottom was treated to a long period of silence before a slit at the top was slid open revealing a pair of burning red eyes.

"Woss it you want?" the somewhat uncultured voice barked at from behind the slab of fake gold.

"Well, I was hoping to take one of those rooms you have available" Pigglebottom replied.

"Aint got no rooms available" the red-eyed one replied, swiftly slamming the slot.

"But, the sign over there says rooms are always available"

"It does? Hang about..." the voice replied from behind the door. Opening the heavy door slowly, the red-eyed one revealed himself to be a very tall, yet very slender Barbarianous native. Pigglebottom wondered whether he had some sort of affliction as one of his arms dragged along the floor and the other was seemingly growing out of the man's left nostril, he ultimately decided it would be for the best to not enquire. The red-eyed native strolled slowly out of the building and after Pigglebottom pointed out the sign, he inspected it closely, so closely in fact that his piggy nose was placed firmly on the sign.

"Hang about..." the red-eyed one muttered to himself in confusion. "Hang about, hang about" he said over and over as he walked away from the building to the opposite side of the street. As he stared at the gigantic neon-sign hanging above the building, his red eyes slowly began to widen and he quickly returned to Pigglebottom.