The Reluctant Adventures of Pigglebottom Broadsword

Chapter Thirty

After the initiation, the new recruits were allowed the afternoon off which, according to the Leader, was an opportunity in which they could meditate on the right of passage that had occurred. However, all that seemed to be occurring was a ridiculously long line for the bathroom and a sudden shortage of toothpaste and mouthwash. Despite feeling like he wanted to rip his tongue out and burn the contents of his mouth, Pigglebottom was focused purely on one thing; his quest. He knew he had to act fast, and that he had to make contact with his target so as to formulate a plan of escape. After pondering for some time, Pigglebottom decided that perhaps he should take advantage of his newfound somewhat-friendship with the two brothers and see if he could receive some sort of information as to the current whereabouts of the sludgy boy. Walking the corridors, Pigglebottom happened upon Scrambled who was dutifully scrubbing the toilets whilst humming a jaunty tune which mostly consisted of the word "allo' repeated over and over again. Pigglebottom asked for his new brother's attention, to which Scrambled pointed in Pigglebottom's general direction to alert his brother, and in doing so flicked the remnants of whatever was on the brush everywhere in the room. Pigglebottom turned around to find Poached staring at him intently.

"What ya want me for?" Poached replied in a somewhat irritated fashion, it was then that Pigglebottom noticed his swollen right cheek, perhaps a result of interrupting the Leader's nap time.

"Well, I wondered if you might help me find someone, you see, I'm looking for a friend, I saw him earlier but I'm not sure where he is now, I was wondering if you would know?" Pigglebottom stated, attempting to speak as confidently as physically possible.

"Friend, eh? What's his name?" Poached replied in a somewhat standoff-ish manner.

"His name... his name..." Pigglebottom suddenly recalled the fact that he didn't actually know the boy's name, and as a result had to suddenly think on his feet "Geoffrey... his name is Geoffrey... Geoff for short, but that's his old name, I think he may have changed it since, its been a while since we've seen each other you see." Pigglebottom replied attempting to maintain his composure.

"Right... I'd change my name if it was Geoffrey as well" Poached said as he laughed despite the fact that he himself was named after a method of cooking eggs.

"Perhaps I can describe him" Pigglebottom offered "he's about 3 times the size of me, has a dark and sludgy complexion...".

"I know the one, we call him 'Snot Monster'... 'cause he looks like a monster made of-" Poached replied before he was cut off.

"That's the one!" Pigglebottom stated excitedly.

"Yeah... we call 'im the snot monster cause he don't have a name, he was picked up one day down in Kroydome and ain't even said a single word, personally, I think he's a crapple short of a bushel if you know what I mean?" Poached stated as he looked down to realize his trousers had fallen down to his ankles.

"That certainly sounds like him, he always was a rather withdrawn character" Pigglebottom agreed "so, do you know where he is?".

"Yeah, he's cleaning the toilet in the Leader's chambers, all the thick ones get assigned toilet cleaning duty you see?" Poached said as he began to join his brother in cleaning the toilet.

"Right, I see, so would this be in the inner sanctum?" Pigglebottom enquired.

"You've got it" Poached said as he nodded "Just don't let the Leader see you in there otherwise you might be getting a second course of that stuff" Poached muttered as he laughed quietly to himself and continued scrubbing the rim of the toilet.

"One other thing..." Pigglebottom enquired, possibly about to push his luck but seemingly disinterested in any repercussions "Does the Order have any boats or anything like that?".