The Reluctant Adventures of Pigglebottom Broadsword

Chapter Nineteen

The Desterlasioul Port was quite unlike anything Pigglebottom had ever seen. Thousands of boats of all shapes and sizes all sat in a row, bobbing up and down gently as the waves lapped against the shore. Everything from one-man fishing boats to enormous cruise liners inhabited the area. The locals were particularly exotic as strange animals with the faces of dogs and the bodies of birds pushed karts selling a variety of disgusting looking seafood which was seemingly incredibly popular with the locals as people flocked in their droves, completing their purchases by ruffling the sellers' feathers specifically with their left hands. Pigglebottom had heard of this strange custom that was exclusive to foreign lands yet never believed it was true until witnessing it with his own two eyes. In regards to this custom, a boy at Pigglebottom's school had once warned his fellow classmates "just make sure you don't stroke the wrong part uvverwise yousll get done for arrassment." At the risk of landing himself in a Desterlasioul jail, Pigglebottom decided he would keep his hands, and his cash, firmly to himself. Instead of sampling the local horrifying delicacies, he instead began to plan the next part of his journey, his preferred mode of transport being anything that was relatively cheap. Thinking that it was probably a good idea to hang on to as much of his money as he possibly could, Pigglebottom sought the attention of the captain of a small fishing boat, the boat in question was the smallest and most run-down of the bunch. Crudely fastened to its hull was a hand-painted sign which read "Ferri to Barbarianous - Pay as much as ya want". Pigglebottom walked the plank and clambered onto the vessel. As he did, the old captain, looking grizzled with dark bags under his eyes that looked like they each housed a weeks-worth of shopping in them, appeared with an outstretched hand which Pigglebottom filled with a single gold coin, to which the Captain was heard muttering "bloody cheapskate". The ship was as rickety and beaten up as the captain himself and looked like it had been through many battles, which of course couldn't have possibly been true considering it was just a small fishing boat. At the back of the vessel, next to what looked like a hole in the floor, stood a very tall, muscular yet somewhat brainless-looking man with a bucket in one hand and a mop in the other, his eyes seemingly unfocused as he stood staring into nothingness as saliva slowly dripped from between his last two remaining front teeth. Pigglebottom walked along the deck and took a seat on the edge of the boat. Leaning rather coolly against the captain's room was a cloaked figure with a large hood obscuring their face, only the occasional puff of smoke could be seen drifting out from underneath the hood. Across from the mysterious individual was a somewhat unnerving looking mage who was dressed in a ceremonial garb with black fish net stockings covering his inexplicably hairy legs. He stood swaying back and forth with a stern and angry look in his eyes, Pigglebottom decided he would avoid this particular man's gaze at any cost.

Sometime after sitting down, a horn sounded and the boat's engine began to sputter and chug. Suddenly jerking down into the water then up, the small boat began its creaky crawl away from the Port, narrowly missing countlessly much-larger vessels in the process. As the ship was leaving port, Pigglebottom looked to the shore, the size of which was only now truly revealing itself. A building in the distance exploded into a ball of fire as sounds of cries and shrieks filled the air. Pigglebottom thought to himself that at least he had dodged one bullet, but then felt instantly guilty about thinking that way. The ship swayed from side to side as the sea winds whipped against the hull. Spray from the water filled the air as the boat crashed clumsily into each wave head-on, almost coming apart at the seams every time. Pigglebottom attempted to steady himself by holding the armrest which was attached to his chair, which then snapped clean off in his hands when the boat almost capsized from a wave which was barely a foot-tall. Feeling somewhat nauseous from the constant rocking and the feeling of impending doom, Pigglebottom decided he would move inside and walked in the direction of the captain's room which was so smoke-filled that nothing within could be seen. As Pigglebottom opened the door a bellow of smog dispersed into the sea air and the grizzled Captain was revealed to be sitting, clutching the controls with no less than 4 somewhat exotic-looking cigarettes hanging from his mouth. Surprised by suddenly being able to see, the Captain leapt from his chair shouting "Blast! Have we already set sail!?". Upon noticing Pigglebottom standing at the door he composed himself and sat back down. "Sorry about this" the captain said, gesturing to the hanging paraphernalia in his mouth "It calms me down, the sea can be... a harsh, terrifying mistress... and she's always soppin' wet."