Never Enough || KIM NAMJOON

38

Namjoon POV

"Kim Namjoon, when are you going to come back here?! Get your face back in here before the end of this month or else I swear, I'll disown you!!!"

"Oppa!!! Namjoon is your son!!!!!"

"Shut up, Hyejin. My son never disobey me like he does!!!"

I hung up the phone and throwing it to the wall until it crush like nothing but garbage. My both hands now clenching my hair and my head feels want to explode. I can't believe that my own father just said that to me but I believe now i'm means nothing to him.

My eyes shifted to the frames of photos I put on the nightstand and my computer table. Photos of Sooyoung smiling when she's graduating and the ones I took whenever I'm with her got me smiling. I knew I'm making her disappointed by the things I am doing right now but I don't want to see my father's face.

I'm starting to hate him, he's keep making my life complicated. Nobody want to be pushed, I don't want to be married with someone like Jennie. She isn't my type and annoying plus she's not Sooyoung.

I can't deal with life like this... I want my own choice and freedom.

Hiding myself here isn't the way either.

I'm lost.. I need someone to give me courage.. I need my mom.. She always giving me courage and strength that I need to face life.

I want to involve in music, it's been my dream since I was a kid. My interest in music getting bigger after I listened to Sooyoung singing with her beautiful voice. I want to make my own studio and become a great producer. My father knows my ambition and starting from that he keep pushing me doing things I hate, comparing me to my stepbrother. He making me hating people, hating who I was and I even hate myself.

Then my other phone ringing, Hoseok's name appearing on the screen. I only gave this number to him, not even to Sooyoung. I got my own reason to do this.

"Hello? Hoseok-ah?" I greeted but he not even talking at the other line.

"Yah, why are you not talking dude?" I asked in frustation because he keep being silence for past 5 minutes.

"I will hang up---"

"Why are you doing this to me, Kim Namjoon?"

My heart dropped when I heard Sooyoung's voice instead of him. She sounds like she's been crying hard, her voice is husky, I can feel she's trying hard not to sob hardly behind the phone and it's slowly shattering my heart into pieces.

"Sooyoung-ahh.."

"Kim Namjoon, whatever you're doing right now, please tell me why are you giving me hope at first? Do I really look like a toy to you?"

"Sooyoung-ah, it's not like what you think.."

"Hahaha, it's not what I think.. Yes, maybe.. because we got our own thoughts but can't you see you are keep using me? What's the point are you making me as your girlfriend but at the end you're marrying JENNIE!!! Fuck it, Kim Namjoon. I hate you, I have feelings! I have heart too!! Why are you so ignorant about me???"

"I am not marrying Jennie, Jung Sooyoung!!! Stop caring about what my crazy father said!!! I'm suffering too, what do you think am I doing here??? I am not running from you, I am not using you for my own good!!! I love you, please.. Believe me.."

Tears finally escaped from my eyes, my chest are going up and down because of the emotions i'm feeling right now. It's feel so much pain because Sooyoung is crying hard at the other side of the phone. I want to make her believe in me, I want to hug her right away, I want to tell her I love her, I want to comfort her from the pain we both facing right now..

"You are not running from me, Namjoon but you are running from the world. I can't believe I let myself trusting you at the first place."

Tit Tit.

She hung up.