The Art of Letting You Go

could you imagine?

I groan as I pull the covers from my head. Only five minutes until my alarm goes off. Five minutes until I'm in the shower. Five minutes until I'm getting ready to see... I mean, going to school.

"Uhh," I pull my laptop onto my lap. 

Madeline: 475 Cram Rd. 7PM.

Sara: It's a date.

Madeline: Save it for Logan, haha.

Sara: Oh, shut up!!!! Don't make me invite Richie to this group chat.

No matter their reputation, you had to admire their friendship. When everyone was gossiping about all the breakups, boyfriends, and scandals, they were in it together. They worked it out from the inside. Something I long for. 

I quickly reply even though I haven't mentioned it to my mom. 

-

THURSDAY.

"Avery!" My heart pumps it's blood faster than before. I turn to see Olly. I thought he wasn't talking to me. 

"I didn't know you had this lunch period." I wasn't going to push my paranoia on him. 

"Same goes for you." He kind of laughs, again, I don't know what it is. I smile instead of returning the gesture this time. I'm still upset about his on and off behavior. 

"How's high school been treating you?" He rests both his hands in his pockets as we slowly circle the lunch room. He sounds like every message I've received from my family this week.

"It's okay I guess," I shrug. "What grade are you in?" I couldn't hold back. I have to take advantage of him speaking to me. I like this side of him much better than when he's giving me death glares from across the room.

"I'm a sophomore." He goes a little shy. We both see Taylor walking towards us. I could swear we both let out the same sigh of annoyance. 

"I'll see you later," he mutters.

I gather myself and walk away. Why am I walking in the middle of a cafeteria smiling like an idiot?

"Avery, finally! Did you find any pop tarts?" Sara seems surprised to see me. 

"No," I lie. I hadn't even looked. 

"I saw you with Oliver." Madeline smirks. Oliver. 

"You know he's dating Taylor right?" I can't even attempt to hold my gasp in. What is she talking about?

"I..." I stutter. Sara and her exchange a glance. Great, now they think I'm a home wrecker or something.

"Kidding! Gosh, you should have seen your face!" Madeline bursts into laughter, Sara shortly following. 

"Could you imagine? Oh, he would have her tongue in seconds. I can't stand her." Sara says, hints of disgust emphasizing her words. I couldn't imagine. I didn't want to.

I didn't want to think about how she'd take comfort in his arms at night.

Or him stroking her hair, listening to the breaths she takes as she slips into a deep slumber.

I couldn't imagine her standing on her tip toes, giving him a peck on the cheek before he pulls her back and returns the favor on her forehead.

I'm gonna puke. 

"Av, you alright?" Madeline puts the back of her hand to my forehead. "Damn! You should go to the nurse. I wish I could tell her that the heat was purely the mix of anger and jealously. The words wouldn't leave my mouth.