The Art of Letting You Go

he'll be back

Last night Olly walked over to me, without a word, and placed a kiss on my forehead before climbing back out of the window. 

I cried myself to sleep that night. All of my emotions felt too much. I felt violated and betrayed, I can't believe I let myself fall apart in front of him like that.

I can't believe I let him piece me back together. 

I didn't think he'd actually be leaving until the realization hit me in math when he didn't bother to show up. I distanced myself from all of my friends, desperately searching for some type of silence before I had to go home and hear my mother cry in her room. She kept the door locked and only came out in the wee hours of the morning. 

I decided to call her therapist today and schedule a home visit. I told him about her leaving her room at least once, and he said that was already really good progress.

As for my dad, I think he's living in a hotel for a little while. I'll admit I'll never be able to thank Olly enough for finally getting rid of my dad. Though, maybe I could try.

I push whatever dignity I have left away, and quickly go to text Olly.

Me: Just wanted to thank you for what you did. My dad finally left. x

I didn't have to wait long before my phone buzzed with a response. 

Olly: Of course Avery.

I held my tears back, as if I had any left. When he left me Monday night I thought I could never forgive him again. I knew this relationship was going to take a toll on me, but I also knew it was worth it. I couldn't give up on him after realizing what he did.

Oliver Dixon saved me. He threw my anxiety out the window, along with any burdens that were weighing on my shoulders. He showed me that there is love in this world, not loneliness. Before Olly, all I knew was procrastinated divorces and faked friendships. I dated Logan through desperation, Olly through want.

I was deeply in love with Oliver Dixon. 

I pulled the covers close to my body, finally able to get a good night's sleep since I've come to terms with my feelings.

6:00 A.M.

I jump from my bed in determination. I didn't know how long it'd be before I'd see Olly again, but I was counting down the days until I did. Before getting ready, I run over to my desk and take out my purple notebook. I decorate the pages with my feelings. I then dress myself in jean shorts and a maroon sweater before pulling my hair into a half-up half-down.

Soon enough I was ready for whatever Wednesday was bringing my way.

"Logan!" I yell, running to jump into the passenger seat of his car. His eyes widen at my mood.

"Av." He greets me with a smile as we pull out of the drive way. "You're in a good mood." 

"Yes, I am." Logan eyes me as he swiftly shifts lanes. "How'd seeing Olly go?" He asks with curiosity. Logan didn't show to school yesterday and I hadn't had a chance to tell him.

"He'll be back." I proudly announce, sending a wide grin his way. He lets out a weak smile in which I choose to ignore. His attitude was a little off, but to the slight chance of him being against the idea of Olly and I, I decide to not question it. 

Right now I was full of hope. And love.

The rest of the car ride is us listening to songs and him asking about my mom, to which I reply she'll be better soon. I hope he didn't resent me for being so happy when my mother couldn't even leave her bed.

"I'll see you later. I'm gonna go catch up with Sara." I say and he mumbles something before I walk away. I do see some people eyeing me down. They must have heard about the breakup, but little did they know we weren't broken up. Well, not that I know of.

As I turn the corner I bump into something light, like a feather. It's Taylor, who huffs and whips her pony tail in my face before grasping her books close to her and storming off. I stand still for a while, registering the fact that she was even carrying books, as well as the sound of a camera go off in the exact moment of our collision. 

I quickly speed off and forget about it. Luckily I found Madeline talking to Richie.

"Mads!" I say, poking at her sides as her face lights up in my presence. Richie looks at me and offers a smile before getting the hint and walking away. "How's that going?" I ask as I take his place leaning against a locker.

"Really good." She states proudly. "And... Olly?" She hesitates.

"Good. I have something I want to tell him." I say as we walk down the hallway. Madeline's attention is directed towards her phone and apologizes before she walks into the nearest restroom. I shrug it off and finish my walk to Business, ready to see Sara.

I'm sitting in my desk as the bell rings. A frown is placed upon my face when Sara doesn't show up in the seat beside me. 

After a few minutes she comes in, mascara smudged against her pink cheeks. I immediately stop the worksheet I'm doing to face her as she sits down beside me. She's been crying. Her hair is frizzy as if she didn't have the time to strengthen it this morning. Her heels weren't even buckled all the way.

"Sara, tell me what happened?" I question, not sure of how cautious I should be. She looks at me hesitantly before huffing out a "screw it".

"Logan and I broke up." 

What?

"Because of you."