Collection of Poems

The Note

I need to get out
And to leave
For this reality
I'm failing to perceive
As it should be
I cannot achieve
A sanity as clear as day
And I have so much more to say
But my mind is in a state of decay
I know it must sound cliché
And I'm sorry for today
But I must go
I need to get out
I must leave this place
For I was born in the wrong space
The wrong time
I never should have existed
I was the mistake nobody really wanted
Mother and father would still be together if I had not been born
My grandmother would not be the alcoholic she is now if I had not been born
All the burdens that wouldn't have been if I had not been born
And it's my fault
I'm sorry
I'm sorry I couldn't be what you need
I'm sorry that it was so easy for me to concede
My heart and my mind, your warnings I didn't heed
God I'm sorry
I'm such a mistake
And that all my smiles were fake
But I did it for your sake
To make you smile
And to make you happy
For I valued you above all that is me
And by you
I mean all of you
Everyone I hold dear
All of your smiles meant so much more to me
Than my own happiness
I want you to know that
As I take my life
All of you mattered to me
More than you know
More than I was capable of expressing while I was still alive
If you're reading this, I'm probably already gone
And if I'm not, if you have the chance, it's your choice to save me or let me die
Forgive me, love
But I fear I've fucked up again
And there may be no going back
I'm scared of the future, but terrified of the past
And my life is draining fast
These fingers of mine
Cannot write much more
All of you should know, it was you I adored
But I can feel this terror down to my core
The fear of dying, imminent, as I knock on death's door
He embraces me with open arms and a pat on the back
As if he's proud to see me dead, and I remember we made a pact
If I was to die, and the fault was mine, which was the fact
My soul was his, sold away,  without any tact
I am the Devil's and I will burn
Goodbye
Do not follow in my footsteps
I love you all