Just As I Am

Epilogue

Jasmine

Everything had been going perfectly, so I should have known something would rain on my parade. I’d just gotten out of the shower when my mom called and gave me the worst possible news ever! She told me that she’d be in Texas in a week so she could help me drive my car back. I wasn’t even thinking about the possibility of having to go back to Petersburg. I cried for like two days! It’s funny how I cried when I was told I had to move to Texas and now I cried because I couldn’t stay. I didn’t want to move back to Virginia and leave Isaiah. We’d been dating for three months now, and I was actually excited about our final year of high school. He was the best boyfriend anyone could ever ask for, and now I had to tell him goodbye. I didn’t want to leave Isaiah or Bianca and Isis or Mia or the Lone Star state period.

“What’s wrong, bae?” Isaiah asked as we sat in his den watching videos. I’d been dreading telling him that I had to leave for the last few days, but I knew I couldn’t put it off any longer. It was just so hard to say the words out loud.

“I really love you.” I said sadly.

“And that’s wrong?” I could clearly see the confusion on his face.

“No, that’s wonderful.” I attempted to smile and failed miserably.

“Then what’s wrong?” He asked seriously. Sitting there, looking into his brown eyes, I began to cry. “Really, Jazzy, baby, you’re starting to scare me.”

I told him. We both sat there in silence for a few minutes. I’m sure he didn’t know what to say, and I knew if I said anything, I’d start sobbing like a little baby. I knew that my heart would get broken again, but I had no idea it would be this way. He put his arm around me and I lay my head on his shoulder.

“It’ll be okay.” He said softly.

“No it won’t, Zay! I don’t want to leave you!” I raised my head so I could look at him.

“I don’t want you to leave either, Jasmine. I’m going to miss you so much.”

“I don’t want to lose you.” I cried.

“You won’t lose me. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, right? Or something like that anyway. We’ll figure something out.” He smiled weakly.

His words only made it harder for me though. He was so great and I had to let him go. That was so unfair! We’d just begun our relationship and it was about to be over before it really even had a chance. Would it have been easier if were still just friends? I doubted that. Nothing could be easy about not seeing Isaiah every day. But if I had to let him go, there was something I wanted to share with him before I moved. We were in the house alone; Anthony was still at work. I leaned forward and kissed him passionately. I could tell he was surprised, but it only lasted a second before he fell into the kiss. I let my hands travel down his chest until I was pulling up his shirt. He pulled away from my lips and looked me dead in the eye.

“Jazzy, why are you trying to take my shirt off?” He asked cautiously.

I’d made up my mind that I wanted to do this, but I was still shy enough to blush. “Because if I have to leave you, I want to make love to you before I go.” I could see the shock so plainly on his face. He was not expecting this turn of events. Truthfully, neither was I, but I meant what I’d said. If I had to leave then I wanted this to happen.

“Jasmine…”

“You don’t want to?” It had never occurred to me that he wouldn’t jump at the chance. I suddenly felt so stupid. I turned so he couldn’t see the fresh tears welling up in my eyes.