Just As I Am

Chapter 19

Jasmine

I was so mad at Dashawn that I didn't talk to him for two days! He apologized for upsetting me, but not for what he'd said about Isaiah. Oh, no, he told me he meant every word of it. How could he think Zay would try to come between us? It was freaking ridiculous! Isaiah hadn't said a single negative thing about Dashawn, not to me anyway. He didn't even come over as much as he used to since Dashawn and I became a couple. And what was this business about Isaiah wanting to be with me? As if. He was my best friend, for crying out loud! I was a little upset with him as well, but I didn't think I could've stayed that way long. I missed him too much. I loved being with Dashawn and all, but nothing was like chilling with Zay. He was my favorite person! I didn't know what Dashawn's problem was, but this was going to stop.

Things were a little stressful in my relationship since that incident happened, and strangely enough, it had nothing to do with Zay. Dashawn had become a lot more physical lately, wanting to take our relationship to the next level. That was something I just wasn't ready for. The night before had been especially hard, because I was so caught up in the moment that he made it all the way to second base. We were just chilling on his couch when he told me that he loved me. The words caught me completely off guard because I'd been thinking maybe I felt the same way about him.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yes really." He laughed. Before I could say anything, his lips were on mine. The way he kissed me made me wonder if I was in love too. I mean, I knew I really like him and all, but what I was feeling at the moment was much more powerful than like. The feel of his breath on my skin had my head completely clouded. I knew I didn't want it to go any further, but I also knew that was exactly what I wanted. I felt his hand creeping up my shirt but I didn't break the kiss. Then in one swift movement, my bra was unhooked.

"Stop." I said, trying to pull away from his soft lips. He pressed his hand against my back and pulled me closer, kissing me some more. I felt his tongue slid across my bottom lip and almost gave in. "Seriously, Dashawn."

"You really want me to stop?" He asked, disbelievingly.

"Yes. I'm not ready to...do that yet." I said sheepishly. I was a little frightened that he wouldn't want to be with me anymore because I wasn't ready to have sex.

"Are you okay, Jazzy?" Mia asked, bringing me out of my thoughts. We were out dress shopping with Tia and Tamia. Dashawn asked me to Duncanville's senior prom, and I was way beyond excited. The prom was still a month away, but I didn't want to waste any more time. Any other girl would've been devastated if she didn't have a dress a month before prom, but I wasn't any other girl. I knew that I'd be able to get something beautiful and unique because I had Mia. She was more excited about the prom than I was.

"I'm fine. There's just a lot on my mind." I answered. That was an understatement! I had to think about this Dashawn and Isaiah business, prom, the upcoming cheerleading competition, and to top it all off, my birthday was Saturday. For whatever insane reason, Mia decided I should have a party that Saturday night. She even went as far as to have one hundred flyers printed up for me to pass out at school Monday, though we both knew there would be way more than one hundred kids there. This party was going to be a complete disaster!

"Wanna talk about whatever it is that's bothering you?" She smiled sweetly.

"Really, I'm fine, Aunt Mia." I tried to return the smile, and I hoped she believed it.

"You know you can talk to me about anything; don't you, Jasmine? When you're ready, of course." She said, letting me know I hadn't fooled her at all. Mia was cool and all, but I didn't want her freaking out about the things that were running through my mind. And as if she could read it, she said, "And I promise not to judge or overreact."