Just As I Am

Chapter 5

I was devastated! It felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest, stomped on, put through a shredder, and then the pieces were set ablaze. I wanted to cry, scream, anything to make the pain stop. There was a hole in my chest, where my heart use to be, and I knew that it would never be filled again. How could he do this to me?

"Jazzy, what's wrong?" Isaiah asked for the hundredth time. I couldn't tell him. I couldn't speak the words out loud. How could he do this to me? Before I could stop them, the tears started flowing heavily. "Jasmine, why are you crying?"

I didn't want him to see me like this, so as soon as he pulled into Mia's driveway, I jumped out of the truck. I quickly unlocked the door and headed up to my room, not even stopping to punch in the alarm code.

I walked by my bed, into my bathroom, and sat Indian-style on the floor behind the door. How could he do this to me? I couldn't breathe. I literally felt like all of the oxygen had been sucked out of the room. I started to hyperventilate. He was my air! I stared at the phone, not really looking at it. The message was still on the screen. Should I text back? Should I call and curse him out?

I just sat there; I don't know how long. I was in a complete daze until the phone vibrated in my hand. A text message. I was afraid to open it up. What if it was something else I didn't want to see?

Curiosity soon got the best of me, and I slowly unlocked the screen and opened my inbox. I sighed with relief when I saw the message was from Isaiah.

Talk to me Zay

I didn't have anything to say. I hadn't told Isaiah much about Eric. He only knew that I had a boyfriend back home, he didn't know the real reason I was here. Hell, I didn't even know the real reason anymore. I was in Texas because of Eric Anderson. I had to leave my home, my friends, my school because I was in love with Eric! He was the reason I was here, and now I felt incredibly stupid for being put in this situation. Not that I didn't love being with Mia, or even hanging out with Zay, but this was all pointless now. Everything I'd been through with my parents was for nothing. I was completely crazy! It was idiotic of me to think this would have ended any other way.

I couldn't stop the tears from falling. I was heartbroken. The hollow space inside me multiplied in size and threatened to consume me. I started to think of ways to rationalize it. Maybe it's some kind of joke, I thought to myself. Yeah, some prank or misunderstanding. Eric wouldn't really hurt me, would he? There had to be some other explanation, because the man who told me that he loved me wouldn't break my heart like this. I sat there trying to convince myself that what I saw was wrong, but I knew deep down that it wasn't. I was just a foolish little girl for believing anything different.

My phone vibrated again with another text from Isaiah.

Please :( Zay

I probably would've thought it was cute, if I wasn't drowning in misery. I ignored that text too. I just wanted to be left alone, so when the phone rung, I picked up to say just that.

"Isaiah, please..." I began.

"Who the hell is Isaiah?" In my confusion, I didn't recognize the voice.

"Who is this?" I asked cautiously.

"This is Eric, who do you think it is? Now who is Isaiah?" He asked.

I looked at the phone, not believing he had the audacity to ask me a question like that. He must not have realized that he sent the text to me instead of his new woman. Should I bring it up? Should I see if he would?

"Jasmine, do you hear me talking to you? Who is Isaiah?" He repeated.

"Why do you care?" I asked, surprising both of us.