Just As I Am

Chapter 16

Isaiah’s Pov

I don’t know what’s been going on with Jazzy lately, but it’s starting to drive me crazy. Here she was, supposed to be my best friend, and the girl wouldn’t even look at me anymore. She’d been lying to me about little things, not answering or returning my calls or texts, and she didn’t want me to drive her to school. I’ve wanted to ask what the problem was, but we rarely talk anymore. True, it’s only been a little over a week, but when you spend as much time with someone as I spent with Jasmine over the last months, that seems like a long time. I just didn’t understand this girl! She was acting like I killed her puppy or something. I didn’t know what I’d done wrong, but something had to change because I missed her.

I missed her. I mean, yes, she’s my best friend and we hang out all the time, but she was so much more than just that to me. Jasmine was the one person who really saw me. I could totally be myself around her, and I didn’t feel like that around anyone other than my boys. I’d never felt that way about a girl before, which had me so totally confused. Jazzy was beautiful, though I don’t think she fully realized that. I mean, she had a pretty face and a great body, but that wasn’t why I thought she was beautiful. She had this easiness about her and the most amazing smile you could ever see. She had a wonderful personality and she was just a cool person. I could talk to her about anything from music to cars to relationships; not that we talked about relationships much.

Did I like her romantically? Yes, of course, but there was nothing I could do about that. She had made it more than clear that we were just friends. Some of the time, I thought maybe we could be more; maybe she wanted to be more. Then again, there were times when I saw no hope at all. What was I supposed to do? Tell her that I think I’m in love with her? Tell her that I think about her all the time? Mess up our perfectly imperfect friendship for my own selfish reasons? No, I couldn’t do that. So I started thinking maybe kicking it with Isis wasn’t such a bad idea. Jasmine really liked her, and this had been her plan right? For us to get together? So, I pushed my feelings aside and vowed to just be her very best friend. It wasn’t that I didn’t like Isis. She was cool chick and very pretty; she just wasn’t Jasmine. How did that Usher song go?

When you feel it in your body
You found somebody who makes you change your ways
Like hanging with your crew
Said you act like you're ready
But you don't really know
And everything in your past - you wanna let it go

I got it bad! Even though it was hard just being her friend, it was even harder not talking to her at all. I didn’t like the distance between us, and I didn’t know what had caused it. I tried to think back to when she changed. If I had to guess, I’d say it was that day I saw her at the movies with Dashawn. Isis and I were together. Maybe she was jealous! No, that was too much for me to hope for. I figured if I popped up at Mia’s house, she wouldn’t have a chance to avoid me. So, I went over there Saturday and Jasmine was getting ready to go on a date with Dashawn. I was so jealous, but I couldn’t let it show. The way Mia looked at me, I was sure she knew what I was feeling. Jasmine looked so beautiful, and I couldn’t help think it should’ve been me taking her out. I didn’t have anything against Dashawn, he just wasn’t right for her.

“What are you doing here, Zay?” She asked. I had to force myself to remember how to talk, because this was all just too much. I guess my jealous theory had just flown out the window. So what was the problem?

“I wanted to talk to you, kick it. I didn’t know you had a date.” I replied nonchalantly.

“Well, I do, so why don’t you call Isis or somebody.” She snapped.

“Jazzy, what’s your problem?”

“I don’t have a problem.” She wouldn’t look me in the eye, so I knew she was lying.