two-faced

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there's these times
that i go through.
where i sit and i argue with myself.
with the side that knows you're hurting me &
the other that knows you love me.

i sit and i cry.
because sometimes i wish you'd make it easy.
cheat on me,
hurt me
or just fucking leave me.

because each time i lose the argument to the side that knows you love me.
because i can't stand to see you hurt by me.
i fucking love you.
god,
the love i have for you.
might even be a new weakness.

but i'm afraid if i don't do anything,
its going to end up
being my biggest
mistake.

-m

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