i lay in the bed i have made for myself
infuriated at my own internal rage
i have for this monotone life i drag myself through.
i no longer feel human, my heart cold to the touch.
metal wraps around my limbs, entangling my veins and clinging to my skin.
i sleep to recharge my robot like self,
only to wake up to the world bothering me with lingering stares and snide laughs.
how society praises all the wrong things,
how dare she advertise life as a glorious, worthwhile surprise,
how society pulls us to the bottom of the pool, silence as a rock balances on our stomachs.
how the silence turns to teeth biting at the helpless water completely surrounded us, the impotent fight to elude the chains.
slowly drowning, mouths only tasting the chlorine liquid.
slowly disappearing, into the stillness of the rattling of chains, the rocks falling.
your body arises to the surface, light as a feather
yet heavy as a corpse.
is this how you felt?
when you decided that day was your last attempt at life?
is this how you felt?
when no one jumped in the pool to grab and salvage the parts of you that deserved to come out of the water so real and true?
is this how you felt?
did you relish in the final tranquil before your world finally stopped, before your heart stopped beating?
is this how you felt?
free at last, floating without caring?
is this how you felt?
please tell me you smiled when you discovered the beauty of the unknown universe we have yet to see or explain.
-m
