Abused And Used

Chapter 2

Josh’s POV:

I had enough time to cool off and so has she, and I don’t care if she is at Matt’s house or not, I am going there. I need my baby back in MY arms again and I do NOT want her in the arms of some other filthy man. I started walking towards Matt’s apartment; my mind was slowly coming up with possibilities on what can/could go down. One of the ways my mind was coming up was: I can beat the crap out of Matt and take Heather with me back home. I got to his apartment door and turned the door knob and it was locked. Just my luck, so I decided to knock. No answer, I knocked again, STILL no answer. What are they doing? HE BETTER NOT BE HAVING SEX WITH HER! THAT IS WHEN I WILL COME UN-GLUED! My anger was consuming me, I pounded on the door. The door knob was rattling and I knew Matt was at the door, he opened it up and I said, “Heather is coming home with me!” I saw the disappointment in his eyes for a split second and I could not believe he had the guts to say this to my face, “To bad, she is staying here with ME, you a**hole!” That was when I lashed out on him, I grabbed him by the collar and my face was in his face and I said, “SHE IS COMING HOME WITH ME! SHE DOES NOT BELONG HERE WITH YOU! SHE BELONGS WITH ME!” I heard Heather’s voice say, “PUT HIM DOWN, JOSH!” and I threw him to the floor. How can she just stay here with HIM? I need to at least show her that I want to change and that I WILL change for HER.  “Please come home with me, baby…” She was on the floor with Matt to see if he was okay after I threw him to the cold floor and I saw her whisper in his ear and then she looked at me.

Heather’s POV:

I whispered in Matt’s ear, “I need to go with him…if I don’t he will just hurt you more and then hurt me more if I don’t go with him, but if he starts to hurt me again, I will come back, I promise…” I looked at Josh and said, “I will go with you…” My decision was based solely upon that I did NOT want Matt to get beaten up by Josh, because I know what it feels like. Josh took me back home and he said that he needed to talk to me, this cannot be good. “I just want to tell you that I want to change my ways for YOU, because I do not like hurting you in any way and I want to be with you…” “You have told me this before, every time we get into a physical fight, you say you will change your ways and you never do, Josh” I’m tired of him saying that he will “change for me”. He thinks he possesses me and my decisions but that is not how it goes. I think for myself, sometimes.

“I know, Heather. I seriously think I can fight this demon in me…” and I can tell in his voice that he DID want to change. But why should I go back to him when all of the sudden out of the blue he wants to change for me? I cannot just do that, I may still love him and all but this is my life and I need it to be stress free as much as possible, especially if I am going to college in California. I do not want some man to ruin my changes on succeeding in my life, because I want to strive for the best. I’m trying to pretend it won’t happen again and again, I don’t think I can take it anymore. He shot the bullet right at me ever since he started abusing me, happily ever after just ends in disaster. I realized all of the things I gave you, I gave you love and passion, but you turned it around and in my return I get anger. All I ever wanted was to love you, and I still do truly love you.

“You sure you can? Because I seriously do want you to fight this demon in you, and if you don’t fight it, we cannot be together anymore.”

He sighed. “I hate hearing you say that, really I do.”

“Good.” I slowly kissed him on the cheek and told him that I was going to bed so I would not be tired for school in the morning. I cannot afford to fall asleep in class right now, and my grades are slipping enough. If I show you this dark place I am in now, will it make you stay? Love me now, love me never, but if you love me, love me forever, otherwise I will not stay with you. I laid down in my soft comfortable bed, pulled the covers up and got situated, and fell asleep. I hope my dreams will not turn into nightmares, because every single night I fall asleep, I am confronted with them and they will not go away no matter how many times I think about good thoughts.