Abused And Used

Chapter 14

I finally find him in his study, lately he has been in his study a lot and I do not know what he does and I hope he is not talking to another woman…

“Hey…can I talk to you? It’s important…” I tell him.

“Can you give me a minute? I am doing something that is important also” he smiles widely.

I sighed, “Can you just drop it for a minute? Please? Cause if you don’t, I will just not tell you…”

He looks at me and knows that I mean it. He closes his laptop and says, “What is it…?”

“I-I…got a call…”

He raises his eyebrows, “From whom?”

“I don’t know. They called me and told me that I was next”

“Next? As in what?”

I shrugged, “But what was weird is, I had a dream about it and when I woke up the exact same thing happened…it is like with our baby…I had a dream that I lost h-him, but when I woke up the next morning, I did not remember HOW I would lose him…Am I going crazy?”

He comes to me and holds me close in his embrace, “Baby…you are not going crazy. Maybe you are just stressed out because of everything that has been happening and your brain is fooling you…”

“So I am crazy!”

“No you are not…”

“Whatever.” I got out of his embrace and left him be so he can do whatever that was important.

I feel like almost every time we talk that we grow more and more apart. I am starting to become very afraid that I will in fact lose him.

I need to do everything possible to keep that from happening.

I do not care what happens to ME in the process but as long as I have him by my side to get me through things then I will be okay.

I start to think of people who would do this to me but no one comes to my mind. Especially since everyone that I know already did something to me, so all of them are out. It probably is just in my head and I am going crazy, because who would do this? Is it someone I do not know? Or someone I DO know?

This is my life. I sighed.

Since I am stressed out right now, I need some air and need to get out of the house so I go out without telling Matt, I do not want to bother him when he is clearly busy and I do not care if he worries about me. He should have just fought for me more, tell me to come back when I left him there in his study.

But no.

Instead, I have to be the one to suffer the consequences and go out without telling him. Oh well.

I go to the Coffee Shop and order me a Java Chip. Best thing ever on this planet right now.

I sit at the table and gather all of my thoughts and figure out what just happened not too long ago. Half of me feels like I am going crazy but the other half knows that I am next and it is not a good thing.

 The bell on the door jingles and it is Matt. I could tell from his face that he has been searching for me and is completely worried. Not my fault.

He comes over to my table and sits across from me, “Care to explain WHY you did not tell me where you were going?”

I take a sip of my Java Chip and say, “You were busy. I did not want to bother you. Something was more important so I just let you do your work. I am a big girl. Care to tell me if you have any other woman you are talking to in that study of yours that you spend so much time in rather than spending time with your girlfriend?”