HE LOVED ME IN THE DARK

DEMON #1~PAT

A/N:

I JUST WANT TO THANK ALL MY LOYAL FANS WHO HAVE BEEN FOLLOWING ME SINCE THE BEGINNING!  THOSE OF YOU WHO HIT MY INBOX UP LIKE, JAMIE WHERE'S THE NEXT CHAPTER! JUST A QUICK NOTE: I KNOW SOME OF YOU GUYS ARE WONDERING WHY YOU CAN'T READ, OR SEE CERTAIN CHAPTERS. ITS BECAUSE OF GRAPHIC DETAILS, SO WATTPAD WILL NOT OPEN THAT CHAPTER UP TO YOU, UNTIL YOU FOLLOW ME! JUST GO TO MY PROFILE AND HIT THE 'FOLLOW' BUTTON, AND NO CHAPTERS WILL BE RESTRICTED TO YOU! HAPPY READING! VOTE. COMMENT. SHARE.

I WANNA GIVE A SPECIAL SHOUT OUT TO MY HOMEBOY...KEIARD BELL A.K.A. Q! HE'S BEEN MY HOMIE FOR A LONG TIME, AND WAS THE FIRST ONE TO DOWNLOAD AND FOLLOW MY STORY! HE'S BEEN ON MY CASE ALMOST EVERYDAY LIKE, "COME ON NOW, PUT THE NEXT CHAPTER UP!" LOL. THANKS FOR THE LOVE BOO!

SECONDLY, I WANT TO SHOUT OUT MY OTHER HOMEBOY LETARI DREAMMONEY MYLES!  HE'S ONE OF MY E. WARREN BROS, AND A DEAR FRIEND TO MY HEART.  REALLY, HE WAS LIKE ONE OF MY ONLY FRIENDS MY SENIOR YEAR IN HIGH SCHOOL!  AND THE ONLY PERSON OUT OF OUR WHOLE GRADUATING CLASS WHO SIGNED MY YEAR BOOK.  YES I WAS A LAME. HE GAVE ME THE SWEETEST SHOUT OUT ON FACEBOOK THE OTHER DAY, SO I JUST WANTED TO RETURN THE FAVOR! THANK YOU GUYS FOR YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT!  #BOUTTHATSANKORELIFE

#DETROITTALENTTAKINGOVER

        When I was about 5 or 6 years old, one of my dad's old Marine buddies, Pat, showed up on our doorstep with a duffle bag, looking for a place to stay for a few days.  I would never forget the look in his eyes.  The way he laughed, joked, and reminisced with my dad, all the while looking at me.  He was dark, with big lips, and had huge craters on his face, and he always smelled like an old, musty, gym locker.  Over time I began to smell like I was living in that locker. 

        Kanitha used to always make fun of me because I would take 2 to 3 showers a day, and changed my clothes.  She thought I was just crazy, but she never understood my reasons.  It was just that, I hated the way I smelled when I sweated, because I would smell like Pat, and I would feel dirty all over again, so in order for me not to have bad memories, I tried to wash that smell away as much as I could.  It may be a mind thing, but even still to this day, I shower more than twice a day.  It's in my head that, every time I sweat, I can smell that demon all over me.

        Remember in my last chapter, when I described the attic in our house.  Well  the light bulbs in our huge attic, were always broken, or blown out, so it stayed pretty dark up there.  Even if you walked all the way in the back where the bedroom was, and turned on the light, you still couldn't see along the walls.  Not that I had a problem with that, but because that's where the pigeons lived.  It was total darkness, and the sounds that came from the ugly birds were creepy.

        I lost count of how many times I had to meet Pat in the darkness.  People were always walking upstairs and going straight to the dark room.  Pat would always cover my mouth with his hands so no one could hear me breathing or crying.  No one ever looked behind the shadows.  I used to pray to myself, " Please somebody, just look to the right.  He is actually laying here penetrating a 6 year old girl."  When he was done he would make me walk out of the darkness first so no one would see us coming out together.

        Pat used to bribe me with Jiffy Blueberry Muffin Mix.  My siblings and I for some reason liked to eat the batter dry, right out of the box.  Mostly, we used to just pick the blueberries out and ate those.  We were always fighting over it, because there were so many kids and not enough blueberries in the box.  When my mom went  grocery shopping, she would have over a thousand dollars worth of food stamps, and she would buy over 20 boxes at a time, of these little blue boxes of flavered muffin mix.  I loved the taste, my greedy ass.

        Pat, who I started calling, 'The Monster', used to hide boxes of the Jiffy Mix upstairs in the darkness.  He would always make me go first.  He would say, " I left you some blueberry mix upstairs in our spot."  I would be so happy to have a full box all to myself, away from all my brothers and sister. that I didnt think about the consequences that came along with it.  Over time, that was the only thing that made me happy.

        I tried to tell my parents what he was doing to me, but they never believed me, just like Pat said they wouldn't.  And every time I tried to tell, the abuse got worse.  Eventually, he stopped leaving me Jiffy Mix upstars altogether.  Mainy because my mom started wondering how come her muffin mix was always coming up missing, so quickly.

        Well one day, my dad decided to fix all the lights in the attic, so he could clean it.  They finally walked over in the corner, in the darkness, and found so many empty boxes of Jiffy Blueberry Muffin Mix.  My mom was furious, and said, " I knew I wasn't crazy, I knew damn well one of y'all was sneaking it out the cabinet!"  Pat was standing there in the attic and said, " I saw Jamie sitting in the corner one day eating it, but I didn't know it was that many."  Needless to say, I got my ass whipped!  Later that night, I went to him and asked, " Why did you tell on me?!"  He replied, " Because you shouldn't have told on me!"  I just cried but I never tried to tell again.

        Soon after, he moved our meeting spot to the basement, because the attic became too bright with all the fixed lights my dad put in, which made everyone want to start going back up there again.  Basically, we didn't have any more privacy up there.  No one barely went in the basement.  It was scary, dirty and always wet and filled with mildew.  There were a lot of stray cats that used to sneak into our basement through a broken window that never stayed fixed.  It would be over 20 cats in our house, at any given moment.  Momma cats would come through the window and have a litter of kitttens on a pile of our old, mildewed clothes.  They made it their home.  On top of the cats, our house was constantly infested with mice and roaches.  That God bed buys weren't around then, because we would've had those too.

        Our house became so nasty.  My mom kept having more kids, which gave us a lot less room, and a lot more clothes scattered all over the house.  My parents didn't believe in dresser drawers, or hanging clothes up in the closet.  We just threw all of the clothes upstairs on the attic floor.  At night, when it was time to get our school clothes ready for the next morning, me and Kanitha had to go to the attice and find matching, clean clothes for all of us.  I think about seven of us were in school at the time.  Since the cats made our attic and basement their homes, it became hard for us to find clean clothes, so we just went with the outfits that were less dirty.

        There was so much cat shit on all of our clothes, hair balls, cat vomit, cat piss, and an all around bad odor.  Of course we got made fun of everyday at school.  Especially after one day I forgot to thoroughly check our clothes for cat shit, and one of my classmates noticed it.  That was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life.

        But, Pat didn't care one way or another, he would fuck me on a pile of wet, mildewed clothes, too.  He always made me lay on my back so I would be the only one wet and smelly.  Whenever our basement flooded, which was quite often, he would fuck me at the top of the basement stairs, right by the back door, which led to the backyard.  In the winter seasons, I would be freezing because of the air that blew through the huge gap underneath the big wooden door.  He didn't care where we did it, as long as he got it when he wanted it.

        We had sex so much, I began to think Pat was my real boyfriend.  One day he had some woman come over.  Me and my siblings burst through the bedroom door, where they were, and we saw them having sex on our top bunk bed.  You know the old school wooden bunk beds that everyone in the hood had, the one with the blue mattresses that had the planets all over it.  I remember feeling jealous, and relieved at the same time.  I was jealous because I thought Pat was mine and I thought that he loved me.  I know, weird right?  I was angry because he had sex with me just earlier that day, and had the nerve to have sex with this fat chick, in our bed, and all I got was the basement stairs, and a cat orgy!  I felt like, how could he have sex with me, if he could have sex with a grown ass woman?!  I was relieved because I was happy Pat found a real girlfriend, that's what made the abuse slow down.  A little bit.

        I don't want you guys to think I'm crazy for feeling that way about Pat, but I was only 6 years old, I didn't know any better.  Some research shows, that the abusee usually starts to fall in love, and try to protect their abuser.  Even though it is wrong, they have been so brainwashed by their abuser, that they begin to believe it especially when there is no one around to stop it, they begin to think it is also normal.