Chapter - 55

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Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not give the kiss the attention it deserves.
~Albert Einstein.

......

Akira

Christ!

This is cruel, so cruel to him.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry." I raise my hands to touch his face. He flinches, staggering few steps away from me and it hurts.

Profound emotions strikes me hard and at once that I now understand how he must have felt when I flinched away from him, it's like someone pulled your heart out from your ribs, the ache is that terrible. My eyes must shown pain for he avert his away from me.

"I was just seven year old when he decided I wasn't worth to keep living for." His voice steely hard. I watch his eyes turn so cold and emotionless that one would think it's an eye of dead person.

Oh Romero

I try to picture him as seven year old kid and imagined a handsome, dark haired boy with beautiful grey eyes filled with confusion and sadness. I imagined his helplessness and his anguish of not being able to help his father. The image breaks my heart.

How devastating he must have felt after witnessing his father take his own life. My family died in front of me I still can't talk about them without feeling like I'm drowning in the memory and here I am the one forcing him to talk about his worst nightmare.

Oh God, what am I doing?

"Stop! Please don't." I plea as tears spring from my eyes.

He immediately snap his narrowed eyes to me and sneers viciously, "Why? Don't you want to know my fucked up past?"

Shaking my head I cover the distance in two strike before wrapping my arms tightly around his torso I hug him and place my head on his chest. He stiffens but I don't let that discourage me and snuggle closer in him, his scent has an immediate effect on me.

"I'm sorry. God I'm so sorry for forcing you. I..I wanted you to tell me because you trust me, not like this. Never like this." My tears are soaking his shirt but I don't care at the moment.

He hesitates, just for a small second and then engulfs me in his possessive and protective arm burying his face in my hair, inhaling me. "Of course I trust you."

"But not enough to share your past on your will." I protest in small voice still clinging to him.

"My past doesn't define me. I never wanted you to find about my fuckedupness. I want to keep you away from them and safely in your heaven."

I twist my face up at his words and scowl, "That is the problem Romero. Your past doesn't define but it made what you are today. I want to know you, all of you. The good and the bad, and you want to keep your parts hidden from me. With time your hidden part will come between us and I fear if you don't open up, we are going to loose each other down the road and neither of us would be able to take it. I don't want that to happen with us Romero, I don't want to loose you." I shudder at the thought of loosing him. I can't imagine what I would do if I'm to ever see that day.

Releasing one of his arm, he brush away the trails of tear tenderly and his face softens considerably, "You won't loose me Ray, I will never let you. I can let you in, if that's what you want. Though it's not going to be easy for me and I'm going to screw up I know I will but I'm willing try. For you, I will do anything."

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