Mental-Taekook

~9~

~Jungkook~

I couldn't bare to watch, Ive never seen someone so broken, as soon as he saw him, his father he fell to the ground, shouting the same phrase over and over,

"Don't you see what you've done to me?!"

Tear soaked and scared, that's all he is right now, I knew we shouldn't have came here, all I want to do is hug him, try and convince him it's going to be ok, that we can just leave, act like he doesn't even know him,

But I know I can't help him, as much as I want to, he needs to finish what he started, I know that deep down,

I'm starting to learn,

I'm starting to learn that he can't just get something like this out of his head,
He'll never be ok if he doesn't, he'll never be the tae no one knows him for,

The loving kind version, Ive seen glimpses of him, I know he wants to be that,
He's scared, scared of letting his guard down,

I know what he's done, I know what he did, but I cant  help but feel bad,

I turn back around, seeing him hover over his dead father I just didn't know what to do, his hands blood soaked and shaking,

I looked at his father, his face slashed, unrecognisable,

He turned around meeting his eyes with mine, staring into each other,

"Was it worth it tae?"

He blinked slowly,

"Think deep down, was that needed? For you to live happily, must you end another's life?"

"shut up."

"No, look at him, your own father!-"

"HE WAS NOT A FATHER, YOU DONT KNOW-YOU DONT KNOW WHAT HE DID TO ME, WHAT HE DID TO ALL OF US, I GAVE A MONSTER THE MONSTROUS DEATH HE DESERVED, IT NEEDED TO BE DONE."

I grabbed his arms pulling him towards me,

"If it needed to be done, then why don't you fell any better?"

I moved my head slowly towards his, I could feel his breath on my lips, my nose touching his,

"Who said I don't?"

His lips grazed mine as he spoke,

"We both know you don't."

He moved forward closing any gap that was left, his soft lips on mine, a tear dropped down his face, mixing with the kiss, I could taste the salt of it,

He pulled away wiping the falling tears,

"I'm a monster,"

"You make yourself into the monster, while trying to protect yourself, you may know what others are thinking, but maybe you should figure out what you are first"

"When did you become the smart one,"

"I think it was after you kidnapped me,"

He smiled slightly, through the soft sobs, "I-I want to go somewhere, please follow me"

He grabbed my hand, his fitting perfectly with mine, dragging me towards the backdoor, opening it and heading to the back fence of the garden,

"You can climb right?"

"Yeah,"

Letting go of his hand I started climbing over, Taehyung right behind,

"Go the well, it's down that path,"

He pointed to a path of twigs and what seemed like  old footsteps, worn there after been stepped on so many times,

Where's he taking me?  I jumped down off the fence staring at the ground for a couple of seconds, attempting to process everything

After hearing a small thud and a few almost silent footsteps, I looked up from the ground, he somehow got infront of me, standing at the old wishing well his back to me, staring down the well he took us to, he sighed,

"This is where I had my first heart break, I remember what made it all better, my mother said, 'little things like that are significant to make us, and you will take this and turn it into something beautiful' everyday that's haunted my mind Jungkook, because I haven't done a single thing beautifully since her death, since the day," he took a breath, slowly turning around to face me again,

"Since the day my father murdered her."

"T-tae,"

"You think you know someone for 14 years of your life, nothing good happened after that, nothing good came from anything that I thought would be nice, until I met you."

He gave me a weak smile.

"What are you doing to me Jungkook, I don't understand how I feel, I hate not understanding, I'm supposed to be smart, I'm supposed to know! Why don't I fucking know!"

He started slowly falling to his knees,

"I'm pathetic,"

"No, no you're not, you've been through nothing but hardship, I'm here to change that tae, I'm here to show you something you haven't be shown since your mother passed,"

"And what's that?"

"i'm not sure yet"

I'm the pathetic one really Taehyung,

~Taehyung~

Who are you Jungkook? What are you doing to me? I don't trust it,  I used to feel like this around him, before it happened, please don't break me even more,

I don't think my brain can take it, I'm broken, I know that, I know you can't fix me, but you can make me return to just slightly cracked,

I can't pretend to be normal anymore, I tried theres no use, and I don't know how to handle it, how to handle me, this is my life,

My life yet I can be controlled so easily by others actions,

He knows who I really am now I don't expect him to be here next time I wake up,

But I know I need to sleep, it's apart of what I used to do when I came here,

I took one more look at him as I curled up into a ball

"it's ok if you leave me," i whispered before I closed my eyes, cutting myself off from the world as I slept beside the well, and under the tree I buried my mother,

I think this is what peace feels like.