Mental-Taekook

~27~

~Taehyung~

Yoongi picked him up a few hour ago, I haven't left my position, I haven't needed to, I need to think, I think that I fucked up- I know that I fucked up, I wanted to apologise, I still do, but he left, left me for yoongi, I can't think of it that way, I know Jungkook isn't like that, I know it,

But hey, maybe I'm loosing my intelligence, ever since I met him again, everything went down hill quickly, I've became weak, but I did it all for him, in hopes I wouldn't royally fuck it up.

Bit too late for that. I'm always a bit too late, I was a bit too late in saving him, I was a bit too late in meeting him again, and I was a bit too late in apologising, now I think I've lost him.

I've fucked with his feelings, and him too many times, and I don't even know why, and I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry, it isn't- it wasn't supposed to be this way,

I don't know why I couldn't just do it, I don't know why my head just wouldn't let me, fuck.

It's all over now, my head is spinning and there's no one here to stop it, no one here to tell me it's going to be ok, because I ruined that too.

I always do.

I looked at my phone, before ringing Jin,

"Tae?"

"I f-fucked up...j-Jungkook."

"I'll book the session now,"

"M-mhm," I end the call, dropping my phone on the carpet, before putting my head in my hands, look, I've even gone against my morals, I'm letting a fucking stupid therapist help me. I doubt they'd even be able to help me, no one can.

I'm a lost cause, always have been, always will be, yet why do I feel so-so angry with myself, I grab my knife, throwing it into the doorframe as the door creaked open, revealing my very own cousin,

"Get out."

"Tae! Jungkook came to me, crying!"

"And that's supposed to be my fault? Kid wouldn't give up, I didn't want to fuck him, so that makes it my issue?"

"Kim Taehyung, this isnt you," I looked at him, bruised around his neck and jaw.

Yoongis been around I assume.

He cannot tell me who I am and aren't when he's sleeping with my Jungkooks personal pain in the ass.

"You're wrong, it is, this is the real fucking me, I'm not a good person, and I never will be, why'd you think I hurt him? It's not my issue, it wasn't when I did it and it never will be, I don't care. now get the fuck out, or you'll be added to the large list of people who've died in here."

He looked at me sighing, before his eyes glanced to the ground,

"I thought you really had changed tae, I thought you'd brought back the fun, kind you, but no, you can't stay like that for too long or your ego will get hurt, Jungkook loves you, apologise to him, before someone else gets to him first."

I growled slightly, "By the state of your knees, I think that person got to you first, need I mention your jaw and neck."