He Cared

24

Slowly, I set the sharp piece of metal down, and stood up, grabbing some paper towel and wetting some of it, making sure to clean up all of the blood that had dripped everywhere.

Not saying that I didn't need one, but since I basically lied to Dallon's face, I am forced to take a shower. And why does he even want to talk to me anyway?

I slipped off my clothes, putting them in a neat pile on the counter, and stepped into the small bathtub. Quickly, I turned the water on, the warm substance immediately burning the gashes on my thigh, making me flinch and silently scream in pain. 

I washed my whole body, and hair, and then finally shut the water off. Slowly, I stepped onto the cold floor, grabbed a towel, and dried my hair, then my body. I threw on my clothes that I had on before, and checked my phone.

Brendon<3: I heard Dallon.. you know you don't have to talk to him if you don't want to, right? 

Me: I know, I just, I dunno.. want to I guess. He seemed sympathetic, and way nicer than the rest

I put my phone in my pocket, grabbed the small pink box, and reluctantly opened the door. Quickly, I put the box in my luggage, making it look like I was grabbing my hair brush instead. I brushed my hair, then gave a little head tilt towards the back of the bus to Dallon, who was looking at me.

He excused himself from everyone, and followed me to the back of the bus. He motions to a door that I've literally never even known was there, so I opened it. The door led to another living room area, that was closed off from the rest of the bus, which was really cool.

Dallon shuts the door behind us, "So I take it you never knew this room existed?" He laughed.

I nodded and chuckled, "I knew the bus looked bigger on the outside, I just wondered why"

Slowly, I sat down on one of the black leather couches, patting the spot next to me. Dallon sat down beside me, and I could tell his mood completely changed from seemingly happy, to emotional and sympathetic.

"Hey, look. I really am sorry for being a dick back there, I didn't mean to, I guess, cause you to have a full blown panic attack" He started, "I just really wanted to know what was wrong, because I care about you. I want you to be okay" 

I nodded, "I get it. Yeah, yelling at me wasn't really the way to go about it, but your mind was in the right place. I forgive you"

"Thank you," he smiled, "and just so you know, you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to, but I just want you to know that I'm here for you too. All of us are, even if we come across a little needy sometimes" I nodded.

"I appreciate it, seriously. Thank you" I told him, and he smiled.

"And all of that stuff I said, just know that this has been going on for a while. Way before I met Brendon" I said slowly, earning a slow nod of understanding.

"How did it all start? If you don't mind me asking" 

"My parents mostly. They'd abuse me for the littlest things, like coming home a couple minutes late from school, or coming downstairs past 6 p.m. Like full on hit me, or even mentally abuse me. But I've always hated the way I looked since I was a small child. I always wanted to change things about my appearance. I've always thought I was ugly, and I have always loathed myself, and it just never seemed to fade away. And of course my parents didn't help that fact either"

"Oh my god, that's horrible! I'm so sorry" His voice was getting into that cracky stage, like he was going to cry.

"Anything that is said in this room, never leaves, okay?"

"Of course"

I paused for a moment to actually think my next decision through.

"You can ask one question about me, and I have to answer honestly" I said slowly, and stared into his eyes, "go"

He paused for a moment, seemingly fighting a battle in his head of what to ask.

"Even if you think it's going to be a bad question to ask, go for it. I'm not going to be offended, or be mad at you" I encouraged him. After all, he did say he's here for me.

He takes a sharp breath in, "have you ever", he paused for a few seconds, "cut yourself?"

I looked to the floor, and an uncomfortable smile plastered onto my face. 

"You know.. I totally knew you were going to ask this question" I whispered to myself, and shook my head while chuckling awkwardly.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-" 

"No, no it's completely fine. You asked your question, now I have to answer honestly"

I sighed deeply, knowing I'm going to regret this so much after this one word leaves my mouth.

"Yes" I whispered in a seemingly inaudible tone, but Dallon happened to hear me loud and clear.

"Can I hug you?" I looked up to his glossed over eyes, and laughed, tears wanting to come out as well.

"Now I only said you could ask one question" I chuckled, earning a laugh from him too.

"Awe, darn" He joked, but I hugged him anyway.

I sighed into his arms, wanting to bawl my eyes out. Why did I tell him? He's just going to tell the others. What a mistake. 

I pulled away, "Nothing said in this room leaves, okay?"

"Have you told Brendon yet?"

"Yes, he knows" 

"I promise"

"Pinky promise?" I smiled, and held out my pinky finger.

"Pinky promise" He returned my smile, and took my pinky in his.

I wiped some tears that had made their way out of my eyes, and got up.

"I think we should probably head back, don't ya think?"

"Yeah, we probably should"

I head towards the door, but stopped and turn to Dallon.

"Thank you so much for this. It really helped"

He nodded, "You're welcome, I'm glad I finally did something right"

"No, no, don't say that. What do you mean 'finally', are you okay?"

"We should probably get going" He pushed past me, and opened the door, a frown making itself visible on his normally smiley face.

"Dallon"

"Don't mention that to anyone, okay?" 

"Okay.." I said, speechless.

He nodded, and walked out of the room, his frown turning into a smile. A smile I've never seen from him before, yet, it is a smile I've seen before. A smile that can hide someone's emotions like they're invisible. A smile that can hide a person's pleas for help. I know that smile.