My 419 Nightmare

21. It Hurts...

Ming's POV

"I'm not your angel."

"I'm not yours."

His words stab my heart, making me staggers back a few steps. I try to explain, but words seem to stuck on my throat, making me hung my mouth open, with nothing come out.

"Get out! Get out! GET OUT!"

I manage to catch the next pillow he threw to me. I glance up to him, seeing how his face becomes red in anger and some pain glistening in his eyes. My heart breaks further.

"I'm sorry, my ang..."

Another pillow struck my chest. I can see he bites his quivering lips, possibly trying to contain his anger. Letting out a bitter smile, I pick up all the pillows and approach his bed, slowly

"Stop! What are you doing?"

He put up a defensive pose, scooting backwards on his bed. It hurts, seeing the one you love doing that to you.

I lay down all the pillows at the edge of his bed and take a step back. He still in his defensive mode, eyeing me warily.

"I'm sorry. I'll go now."

I turn around and open the door, stepping out of his bedroom. When I reach the front door, I can hear rushing footsteps behind me. Thinking that he might want to catch me, I turn around in anticipation.

But to my disappointment, the footsteps stop in front of the bedroom door. A click and a thump can be heard. I'm assuming he must have turn on the lock and perhaps put some barriers on the door.

I gaze at the door for a moment longer before I turn around, making my way out. I slump my body downward, sprawling in front of his front door.

It hurts. It really hurts. My heart feels like it has been stab and tore apart into pieces, right at the moment he asks me to get out, when he look at me in pain and especially when he say he is not mine.

He's right.

I have no right to call him mine.

I have no right to call him my angel.

Not after what I've done to him.

I can't even have his heart, his trust, so... how can I call him mine?

Thus, it hurts.

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Kit's POV

It hurts.

It hurts my heart seeing so much pain in his eyes when I ask him to get out. It further breaks in pieces when I heard how he calls me his angel.

Only God knows how I crave to be love, by him. How have I dream, and how have I surrender fully to him.

I got up from my bed and run, trying to catch him after he left but I stop myself at the door. Locking the door, I slump down behind it, crying my heart out.

I know I have starts to have feelings for him. Heck, I love him. I know so as my dreams had been revolved around him. I miss him, at all time, even if I won't admit it.

I also know if he stays longer, I can't stop myself from throwing my body on him. Kissing him senseless, asking for forgiveness for making him pained. Locking my bedroom door is my last sane decision, stopping me from chasing him.

You love him, Kitty. He clearly loves you too. So why...

Who said he loves me? I have no idea who he is, dammit. For all I know he might have been playing with me.

Okay, fine. But you love him. Give him a chance, na.

I can't. If this was a normal encounter, with a normal phenomenon, on a normal day, I may give him a chance. But...

Kitty, have you listen to yourself? If this was normal you might not be meeting him.

So be it...

Kitty...

I'm a freak. I'm a freak, you got it?

I'm a man with a womb. I'm a man that carries a baby in my stomach.

Yes, Kitty. His baby. He has the right to know.

How can he accept that? How can anyone accept that? What if he ridicules me around after know this?

You don't know that.

Yes, I don't know what he's going to do when he finds out. But I know he won't hurt me if he doesn't know.

So you decide to hurt yourself and him because of the unknown? Kitty, you will regret this.

Maybe, but it's better to hurt now than later. I'm cutting any budding interest, so it won't hurt as much. I will forget about him and he.... will surely forget about me.

But it still hurts na, Kitty?

Yes. It hurts.

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The night was filled with silent tears from both the angel and the devil. The angel slowly lie down behind the door, crying himself to sleep. While the devil, drag himself away after a while, driving himself home.

The next day begins. No smile can be seen on both of them. But still, their live must go on.

The devil is finishing some works, planning to take a long holiday. Where? He has no idea. But he has makes up his mind, he won't be returning to China anytime soon. Handing all the progress to his assistant, he slowly lands his gaze out the window, at a certain spot that is dear to his heart.

The angel, gets up to work early in the morning. It is Friday and his restaurant is closed but he still goes to LGT, much to the protest of his crew. But as stubborn as a kitty would be, the angel keeps on working in the kitchen, barking orders as he normally would.

These two work their ass out, trying to divert their thought from something, or someone. But it is still there at the back of their mind, and each time their thought crept back there, their heart feels like it was being stab by needles, by millions of it. Tears are threatening to roll down, as both of them tries to contain their pain.

The angel can't keep up with this, so he escapes from the kitchen after lunch and go home. His heart is tearing, his head is spinning and his stomach is churning around in him. He threw up the moment he reaches home.

The angel sure have it worse. The pressure and the heartbreaks really takes a toll on him. He forces himself to eat, while caressing his stomach, and crying alone in the process.

The angel feels empty, hurt and moreover, he really misses his devil. He can't stop his mind from replaying what have happen last night, tugging his heart further.

"I need to leave."