Chapter sixteen

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Callie's POV

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Stepping out of my car with Logan beside me felt more normal than anything in a long time. I stole his hoodie and threw it on with some jeans and vans and all I felt was comfortable, in my outfit, my life, everything.

I did however need to talk to Noah today.

"Hey Cals!" I heard Jess shout before she jogged across the courtyard to me.

"Hey J what's up?" Her eyes lit up as they ran over me and Logan together and smiling.

"Oh my god please tell me you guys are back." She interrogated, grabbing my hands with a wide smile.

"Yeah blondie we're good." Logan answered, wrapping his arm around my shoulder before we were attack hugged by Jess.

"Thank god. That was awful. Oh and Logan, hurt her again? You're dead." She stated with a sadistic looking smile making me laugh.

"Jess you came over to say something?"  I asked with a joking roll of my eyes.

"Oh! Go to your locker." The mischievous look on her face should've sent me running but despite it I decided to go anyways.

Walking down the hall in Logans comfortable embrace got a lot less comfortable when Noah's eyes were staring us down.

"Hey. . ." I greeted as Logan pulled me a bit closer.

His eyes ran over Logan's arm and I waited for the expected anger but when he let out a breath and motioned towards the courtyard I was intrigued.

"Come with me?"

I looked up at Logan and my heart squeezed as he looked down at me anxiously, but with a smile and a tight hug that said don't worry I headed outside with Noah.

"Before you talk I want to say something." I rushed out as we stopped under a tree and he turned to face me.

He simply nodded and I took a deep breath before beginning my apology.

"Noah you are amazing. You were a great boyfriend, and I'm sorry I couldn't be a good girlfriend in return." His eyebrows scrunched together and I spoke again before he interrupted. "If you had a girl best friend I would've been really jealous of her sleeping in your bed and taking your time. I hadn't thought about it that way but when I did I realized that you really put up with a lot and I wanted to thank you and apologize."

He nodded with a soft smile and I was glad that I had gotten that off of my chest.

"Thank you Callie." I nodded and he leaned in to give me a quick hug before starting on why we were out here.

"I need to know if I'm crazy." As soon as he started talking I knew the question and I sighed. "You didn't love me, did you?"

"I wish I did Noah." I spoke softly and he nodded as though he already knew.

"You couldn't love me though, because you are already in love with him?"

Just by looking at my face he knew the answer and nodded, clasping his hands together in front of him.

"Don't miss your chance okay?" With that he walked away and I let out a deep breath.

He was right.

I did love him.

It was time to stop pushing those feelings away.

******

I walked into class and immediately my eyes roamed the room to find my best friend, confused when I see he isn't in the room as I take and empty seat near the door.

I asked around but no one knew where he was, I was confused. Usually he would text me at least to let me know where he was when he skipped.

Throughout my second and third period I was mildly upset, still not having heard from Logan. Though as I walked to dance the mildly upset grew to full on anger and shock.

A few doors down from my dance class I saw Mandy leaning up against Logan while smiles covered their faces.

"Uh Logan?" I questioned making his head pop up as if breaking from a trance when he heard my voice. "What's going on?"

He looked panicked and what upset me was the fact that he looked down to Mandy who rubbed his hand and calmed him down.

"Um-" He started to mumble, holding her close to his side.

"Callie I wanted to apologize. I was jealous and scared but my friends and I really regret what we said, every one thought you and Logan would end up together but after me and Logan talked I really get that you guys are just best friends." She had a almost perfectly genuine smile on her face and I couldn't manage a single word as he stared down at her with a smile on his face.

This is how he felt. I made him feel this betrayal and sadness. . .

They both looked at me anxiously, waiting for my response and I had to stop myself from crying as I smiled and thanked her for her apology.

"It's okay, My boyfriend clearly felt the same way. We just tend to confuse people, but yes, all we are or will ever be is friends." As the painful words slipped from my lips I saw Logans eyes cloud over slightly.

The minute bell rang and I quickly excused myself, heading back towards my dance class.

*****

Through sitting with them at lunch, the kisses, and all the lovey dovey crap, I managed not to cry.

I hid everything I wanted to say, to scream. I pretended I was happy for him as I ran over everytime he acted the same for me.

I missed my chance.

As soon as I stepped through my door the tears fell, burning down my face and my entire body shook from the sobs.

He didn't come home with me like usual, they went out for ice cream. He hardly said a word to me besides "I promise she's different, she was just jealous." With a huge smile spread across his gorgeous face as he looked back at her and she graced him with a matching smile.

He didn't explain anything.

He didn't have to. . .

So I spent the remainder of my day crying until I fell asleep.

I'm finally ready to love him and he is finally ready to move on.

At that thought a bottle met my lips, and as my throat burned I began to hate myself for making him feel like this.

He deserves better than me and that's what I need to accept.

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A/N Sorry for all the sadness and drama. It's like a fuckin telenovella right now lmao.

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