roommates; solangelo

043

~Hey! I just want to give a quick Trigger Warning; There will be a few things. One; mid-chapter, you will hate me, I won't spoil, but it doesn't end the way your mind may think. Please, do not rage off this chapter. Secondly; A bit after the drive a lot of judging a book by it's cover happens, and just know, the color of your hair, or the way you look, or dance or whatever, doesn't define you AT ALL< but it does seem very judgemental, and I just want you to know that it doesn't, and I love you> also, mentions of sexual assault, man this chapter is a trip.

~Also, sorry this took so long to come out, it's been like a week.~

"Is this good enough?" Henry asked as he pulls in front of a random club. I smile at him and pull out my phone to rate him.

"Does it have alcohol?" I ask, opening up the app.

"Uh - yeah," He says taking his key out of the ignition. I give him a strange look as I click 'Five Stars' He unbuckled after me and turns to face me in the back. "I was thinking, I could take off for a bit, it's not like I'm on a clock, you'll need a ride home and I think you told me in one of your stories how shitty things happen when you're drunk, I'll be like your supervisor,"

I eyed him skeptically as he continued talking. "I mean, I won't limit you, but any guy would like to jump at a guy that was drunk and recently broken up," He finished. I thought about it. Henry had probably had taken me to a gay bar, made sense. I was gay, but I knew nothing about gay bars. I went to one when I was 17, I got a fake idea, and that is the story of how I lost my virginity.

If I ever have kids, I can not let them know about this, I am a horrible role model. Thinking of kids made me sad so I didn't overthink it. Henry might have known the whole dating thing better than I did. I had meaningless hookups before Will, never relationships, so how would I know.

Just as I said the okay for Henry to join me, I began to overthink. I knew how to do a hookup. You tell lie after lie to get in their pants, once again, not a very good role model, but a guy has needs, and I never lead anyone on to believe there would be more.

As soon as I thought of relationships, I let my thoughts go because I just needed a drink. Henry seemed nice and I couldn't worry about him right now. What I needed right now was to drown my liver in whiskey.

I walked into the club, a bunch of guys doing all sorts of gay shit and went straight to the bar already signalling the mixologist. She asked what I wanted, and I told her as much whiskey as possible. She then asked if I wanted mixed with anyone and I replied no. Yes, I know whiskey is gross, I am very aware that it is bad for me and that I shouldn't be doing this. I am also aware that at this point, I would start doing every drug that I had finally broke the addiction to just to get this pain to go away. The emptiness I was feeling to leave.

So, I downed the gigantic cup as Henry came and sat by me, waving off the girl behind the counter, he was a good designated driver I guess. I ordered another round, my alcohol tolerance rising sense the whole break up.

I was drinking like every single night, it was routine, but try as he may, Jason's alcohol was not near as amazing as a gigantic glass of whiskey. I got another one but slowly sipped it this time. I looked over at Henry who was watching me warily.

"Hey," He laughed as I wiggled my eyebrows.

"Hi," I mumbled, licking, yes licking, at my drink, not even being affected by the taste anymore.

"Mind tellin' me what's got you so down," Henry smiles, gesturing to the glass in my hand and the empty one on the shiny counter.

"Blonde's." I deadpan. Then take another sip. "Tall, blonde's, with daddy issues and big hearts,"