roommates; solangelo

050

||holy crap, chapter 50 i am shooketh to the core ALSO THANKS FOR 14.5K READS GUYS IM SHOOKETH TO THE CORE, even more, like my core is quaking||

I wake up screaming. Damn nightmares. I rub my eyes and reach for my phone, knowing i'm not going to be getting any sleep anytime soon after watching my dad harm everyone i care for. I see the clock on my phone, displaying 3:48 AM.

I lay back down on my bed and stare at my ceiling, not really though because everything was dark. I let my mind run wild, not knowing what to really think about sense about 8,000 thoughts were running through my head.

I couldn't focus on one, so really my mind just topic jumped, and that was a bummer. Because when I 'topic jumped' I always got a headache, I mean, it never failed.

So, I crossed my fingers as I walked into the kitchen looking for some form of medication to get rid of the pain developing in my skull. I was actually lucky for once. "There is a God," i mumble as I take out two tylenol pills.

I get a glass of water, put the pills in my mouth, and swallow. Because, I don't care what you do, if you can dry swallow pills, I don't trust you. Like, only a few circumstances is it okay to do that. And that's when you literally have access to no drink and need the medication. That's it, any other reason, and we're not friends.

Will, sense he was a normal human-being and got the regular, healthy amount of sleep, wouldn't be up for another few hours, so I had a lot of time to kill before he would be able to text me. Which, I also was super excited for Saturday. It was going to fucking dope. Ew. did I just say dope.

I hate myself.

Whatever.

I sit down on the couch turning on youtube, playing David Dobrik because they guy is fucking hilarious. Once the video started playing, I decided that at almost 4 AM, coffee was a good thing to drink.

As I went to boil the water, I wondered if, if I had parents, if I wouldn't be as fucked as I am.

And I don't mean that as in self-deprecating.

I'm pretty okay with the fact I am literally trash, but like, I could be such a different person. I could still be living with my parents, or at least near them, I probably would still be asleep, I probably would have stuck with Will, I also would still be in college, maybe have a more stable career.

But I think I'm okay with how things were, because Will wasn't going to gone forever. I was working on my mistake. My huge ass mistake.

I'm an asshole.

I also need to change topic before I get sad, because I make dumb mistakes when I'm sad. So, now I'm going to focus on Hazel, because Hazel is getting married, and that is so amazing, she is literally about to stand there in a white dress with frank in a tux, and like, she's practically married to him anyway, but still.

It's going to be great.

I'm beyond excited for her. She is going to have such amazing and beautiful kids, I mean, she had the same situation I did, but made something positive of it. Well, she was just not being negative about it.

I mean, yes, she was a bit more different. She never really say Hades, she never had to be there while he left, but that didn't make that much of a difference. I guess some people are stronger.

I'm just weak.

And now I'm thinking bad thoughts.

Oh, how I love my mind.

Finally though, my coffee was done and I added the ingredients to make it how I wanted, which was nice, I wasn't too happy for it, because recently my coffee making skills have been actual shit.