𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍 | 𝘴𝘷𝘵 𝘧𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘦 𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘶

GiCheol | Secret Love Song

We keep behind closed doors / Every time I see you, I die a little more / Stolen moments that we steal as the curtain falls / it'll never be enough

Gigi and Seungcheol had a tortured love; an interesting relationship, to say the least.

After becoming a trainee, Seungcheol was who Gigi bonded with first out of all the boys. Maybe it was because he was the oldest and she felt he could be trusted the most, or maybe she just felt a natural attachment. Either way, she grew to be really close to him.

Then she started catching feelings.

And maybe that was her naive mind falling for the closest older male who gave her lots of attention, but the feelings were still there and completely valid nonetheless.

She could never do anything, of course. He probably saw her as an actual child. He would never be interested...which made it all the more difficult to be her usual self around him. Every hand hold, hug, compliment, everything was just too much for her knowing that she couldn't have him.

And to add insult to injury, he thought her shying away from him was just her being cute, so he initiated skinship even more than normal. It was obvious that she was his favorite dongsaeng since the beginning, so she was used to his attention. But now that she wanted him and knew she couldn't have him, it was suddenly torture.

When you're with him, do you call his name like you do when you're with me? / Does it feel the same? / Would you leave if I was ready to settle down or would you play it safe and stay? / Girl, you know this / We got a love that is hopeless

When she started coming into her own, figuring out her passions and interests and started doing solo projects, he got a bit insecure.

Up until this point, she had relied on him for everything. And now she was out being an adult, doing things on her own and thriving.

He was happy for her, of course, but it threw him off.

And then she started making friends closer to her own age. This was fine, too, of course. Seungcheol didn't claim to own her or put a strict hold on her and what she was allowed to do, it was just new territory for him.

He loved that she was so close to NCT's 2000 line, but every time she opted out of the group's plans to hang out with Haechan, it broke his heart. He didn't even know why.

He always wanted her to turn down his requests to go see a movie or go shopping. He wanted her to not stop and have a long conversation every time they passed each other at award shows. He hated it.

Nobody knows I'm in love with someone's baby / I don't wanna hide us away / Tell the world about the love we're making / I'm living for that day, someday...

"Does the age difference gross you out?" Jeonghan asked.

"It used to," Seungcheol answered honestly.

"It's only five years," Bella pointed out. "And she's an adult now, anyway. What's the issue?"

"I don't know, it's just...we've grown up together," he replied sheepishly, running a tired hand through his messy blonde hair.

Jeonghan looked at him incredulously. "Me and Cha haven't?"

"That's different."

"How? Just admit that you being attracted to everything about her terrifies you. But...isn't that the best kind of love, though?" Ah, here comes Bella with the wise words as always. "Isn't it exciting? Not knowing what's going to happen next, not knowing if people will approve but wanting it anyway? Doesn't it make it worth it?"

God dammit. He hated when Bella was right.

Fine. He'd admit it. He loved her...a lot. But the fact that he knew her when she was so young turned him almost completely off. Not knowing how she felt, he didn't want to scare her away.

"It's a tough situation, I get it," Joshua comforted from across the table. The '95 line were currently in a booth in the corner of a small cafe not far from the dorms. "But you'll never know until you try."

"I don't know if I'll ever try. We have such a great relationship as it is, I don't wanna...overstep my boundaries."

"Listen, even if she doesn't feel anything, she would never be mad at you or cut you off. She loves you! Seriously...sometimes I think more than me." Bella rolled her eyes. "Which is just stupid because I take care of her way more than—"

"Noona," Joshua cut her off with a laugh. "One complaint at a time."

"Fine...so, Cheolie? What are you gonna do?"

He shrugged. "I...I don't know."

Why can't you hold me in the street? / Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor? / I wish that it could be like that; why can't it be like that?  / 'Cause I'm yours."

After every long stare into each other's eyes, every hug that lasted a few moments too long, every dance they were paired up to do together, every time he got caught staring in awe at her performance, every back hug that lingered a bit longer than normal, everything...he still didn't know what he'd do.

No matter what happened, though, everyone in the group knew about the very mutual feelings between their oldest and youngest member and wished they'd just act on it already. Maybe one day they'd let go of all insecurity and find each other...everyone was excited for that day.

Why can't I say that I'm in love? / I wanna shout it from the rooftops / I wish that it could be like that; why can't we be like that?  / 'Cause I'm yours..."