Difference

6. The R Word

Journal Entry #2: December 20
I'm not so sure how friends work, but with Farrah sleeping over, I think that makes us friends. I've only ever had one official friend, and it was my uncle Terrance. When I was a kid he said we'd be friends if I slept over at his house, in his room.

So i did. I think my mom doesn't doesn't really want me having friends, because she hasn't let me be around him since then. I didn't understand, it was just a sleepover. Worse could've happened. Worse, has happened.

—

Adonis»

I woke up to the sound of my sink running. I sat up and looked over at my bed. Empty. I'd slept on the floor and gave her my bed, I thought that was the right thing to do.

She came back in with her hair in a bun on her head, with the shirt of mine I'd given her and her sweatpants.

"I've gotta go soon, what time will your mom be home?"

"I think later this afternoon." I told her, standing up and stretching.

Last night was so fun, it sucked to see her leave now. It's like when you go on vacation for a few days, and you're staying in a fancy hotel and and the soft hotel bed— then having to come home, back to the real world, where things kind of suck.
And it seems like your own bed is even less comfortable, after getting used to the one in the hotel.

"I should still get home, I have to work the restaurant today."

"Oh ok...well uh Farrah?"

"Yeah?" She asked as she was getting her stuff to leave.

"This makes us friends, right?"

She laughed for a second. "Sure."

I tend to have that effect on people. I'll ask them a question or something and there's a little chuckle before they answer. I don't see what I'm saying as funny, but I guess other people do.

"Ok Adonis. I'm heading out, don't forget to text me, alright?"

"I won't..I promise."

"Good." She said smiling, then heading downstairs.

After she'd left, I went back up to my room. Back to reality.

I went into my bathroom to wash my face, when I noticed my pills sitting on the counter. It felt as if my heart dropped down into my stomach. There's no way Farrah hadn't noticed them. They were sitting right there!

I looked at the orange bottle on the counter.

Prozac
20 Mg   90 caps

It doesn't say it's for ptsd, so maybe she'd think it's for something else. But then I thought again. Maybe that's worse! Now it's left up to her imagination about what crazy thing I could have. What if that was the reason she left?

I was now in a panic, and when I couldn't think rationally I knew exactly who could. The internet.

I sat on my bed and opened my laptop. I opened google and began typing.

How to tell if a girl thinks I'm weird.

I clicked on the first result, which was a question and answer site. I scrolled down to the bottom, where the answers were.