Difference

19. Pills

Adonis»

As I rode home with my mom, the car was dead silent. She didn't ask why the date was cut short. She knew I didn't want to talk about it.

As for Farrah.

Since I'd yet to get a response from her, I felt embarrassed. She was probably with Eden at that party laughing at me.

I don't know what possessed me to even try confiding in her. There was no point.

-

When we pulled up to the house I went directly upstairs, into my room, closing the door behind me.

I can't be gay. I know I like girls, Ivy doesn't know what she's talking about.

But there has to be something wrong with me. I know there is.

"Adonis! Do you want some cookies?" My mom yelled from downstairs.

I sighed and ignored her, returning to my thoughts.

There's something wrong with me, I just have to figure out what it is. Obviously I'm not like everyone else..but Farrah tells me that's not inherently bad.

So what is?

I did what I'd normally do, and searched the internet.

'What's wrong with me?'  I typed into the search bar.

I scrolled down to an article that looked at least someone useful. Within this article was a list of bullet points,

Wondering what's 'wrong with you'? Here's some advice!

- STOP worrying. Everyone is different! You may be over thinking!

- Be yourself! Own it girl!! :)

- Love your body! Or no boy ever will!

Maybe I'm not the exact demographic this blog was for, but still the second bullet point stood out to be.

Be yourself.

I thought I was being myself as much as I could, but thinking about it now there's other things I know that are stopping me.

I got out of my bed and went directly to my bathroom. I grabbed each pill bottle and opened them one by one.

With no hesitation I dumped each bottle into the toilet, not thinking twice about them.

Now I can't go back.

Farrah»

The second I was staring at my phone at Adonis' text, Eden snatched it from my hand.

"Girl quit focusing on that phone and focus on us."

The others in the group agreed.

"But..I- just need to-"

"What's so important on here? You texting a nigga or something?" He said, putting my phone in his back pocket.

"No Eden I just- ugh never mind." I mumbled, failing to mention anything about Adonis or the reason I needed to text him back. Eden wouldn't understand. He'd give Adonis hell for that message.

"So come on. It's your turn. Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Aight. Is true you only fuck with my brother cause you feel bad for him? And you really want me?"

"Ohh my g- Eden!" His friend interjected.

"Be honest."

I couldn't believe my ears. I knew Eden was an ass. I knew him and don didn't have an ideal relationship. But that. That was unexpected.