Difference

40. Grow

Farrah»

"I think my boyfriend hates me." I told my mom, as we were on the way home.

"Why do you say that?"

"I can tell he got really mad at me today. I just have a lot of faith in him to be better...and he doesn't have faith in himself."

"Do you think you possibly have too much faith in him?" My mom asked.

"Huh?"

"I mean..of course I don't have any context, but from what I know— change and growth takes time. I hope you're giving him enough time, Farrah."

"I...thought I was. I don't know, I felt like he'd grown so much-"

"If you feel like that, I'm sure he has. But there's always room to keep growing. You can't expect too much from someone who's still growing."

"What should I do?" I sighed.

"If you think he's upset? Call him and apologize Farrah. Buy give him his space, I get you want him to be his best self..but you gotta let him do it on his own terms."

Eden »

"Eden if you knew she was gonna freak out, why would you tell-"

"It slipped out. I was giving her the business and that was one of my points."

"You're ridiculous, Eden." Adam said, sighing.

After dropping off Adonis at home, I did what I'd do most days. Drove over to Adam's house, and sat with him outside.

"She hasn't said anything to me since. But I'm over it."

"You sure you over it? I know you were worried about her reaction. You seem to be taking it...too well."

"Adam I'm good bro, I promise."

I can't be surprised at how my mom was treating me. Growing up, I knew how she felt about gay relationships, and she'd never hesitate to share how she prayed that Adonis and I would marry women.

I tried to think the same way. For a while I did. In middle school when I'd found myself with a crush on my soccer teammate, I felt so wrong and guilty, I quit the team.

When I met Adam at the beginning of the school year, I saw him as just a friend. Until...I didn't.

-Flashback-

"That's game Eden. You ass at this." Adam laughed.

We'd been in his living room for hours playing 2k, with him beating me for the third time in a row.

Usually I was better at this, but there were a million other things on my mind.

"You good?" He asked looking over at me.

For some reason I got butterflies in my stomach.

"Y-Yeah. I'm good."

Lately things felt different between Adam and I.

Things were..weird.

While at his house, he'd get annoyed when I texted girls, he's been wanting to hang out more often than ever, he'd even gotten to be a bit touchy with me...but the weirdest part about all of that? The fact that I didn't really mind it.

He got up, turning his PlayStation off.

An awkward silence came over us as he sat back down on the couch.

"You wanna play Madden-" I said trying to break the silence.

"Eden...you ever get the feeling stuff is different between us?"