The exact words he threw at my face still haunts my dreams every single night and I think I'm starting to believe him.
"Wish I've never met you I was so young and stupid, no wonder no one wanted to be with you, you are just holding me down and I...
It been one whole fucking month since Leah was admitted into the hospital and I have done my best to keep myself together for her and Mackenzie but some days I just can't take it anymore I need her to smile and be happy again not in the coma.
I am going insane without her and to make thing worse is that Mackenzie keeps on asking me when her Momma will wake up, it breaks my heart to see her like this and it's all my fault.
I am currently sitting right beside her holding Mackenzie's sleeping body, just watching her bring tears to my eyes, yes I act like a heartless powerful arrogant man but truth is she brings the softness out of me.
I lay Mackenzie next to her Mom and took Leah's hand, "I Miss you so much Muffin! Please come back to us "I said and can feel the fresh tears running from my eyes.
Leah's parents been here once and they took off to Europe for business, I do know that they are busy people but it's their daughter for fuck sake, maybe it's just their way of grieving.
"There is so much things I want to tell you Muffin, please come back to me , I will make sure that you will feel forever save and I will never let you go! I miss seeing you laugh. I just want to see you hold Mackenzie and be back to the wonderful mom that you are. I even miss your voice when you try to be mean to me" I said to her with a sad smile.
"I'm so sorry for being the jerk that I was and I am so sorry for not believing you and being there for you guys when you needed me most I will never make that mistake again! I love you so fucking much it hurts muffin! "I sniffed
"if there is any way that you can hear me please give me a sign baby anything I just need to know that you are still in there. "I said and took a deep breath in, the knot in my throat just won't go away.
The hospital door flew open and doctors came in to give her a checkup and please God let there be improvements.
I can't live without her and I won't!
I took Mackenzie off the bed to let the doctors do their thing and decided that I need to get Mackenzie back to Laura because of the time and come right back.
......
I dropped Mackenzie off and went straight back to Leah, when I got to her room there was no sign of her and I instantly panicked and went to the reception desk.
"Where the hell is my wife? And why did no one inform me that she will be moved?" I screamed on the lady in front and I know that it's not her fault but I am furious with anger wondering where the hell she is.
"Mr. Lockwood, please I need you to calm down I will check for you" the nurse said and I tapped impatiently on her desk
"I am so sorry to inform you that she is currently in surgery Mr. Lockwood, she is in a very bad condition, the bullet they removed was successful however the wound reopened and she is bleeding from the inside. The doctors are doing everything they can to stop the bleeding but for now we just need them to complete the operation. "She said with a sad smile and my heart sank into my stomach, no no no this can't be happing!
"Why the fuck didn't anyone inform me about her situation? My clear instructions was to let me know if anything I mean anything changed "I am fucking angry I could've stayed with her or even be by her side through the surgery but no one fucking intended to advise me!
Hours went by and I am placing up and down the hall waiting for answers, finally a doctor came straight to me and I felt relieved to finally find out what's happening.
The doctor calmly explain what happened and that my muffin actually woke up but in so much pain, I am glad to have these amazing doctors looking after her, he explained that she was suffering from internal bleeding and they were luckily able to stop the bleeding, she I went straight into a coma once again but the chance for her to wake up is more likely now and I just wish it could be now! I am going to her room immediately after she is back.
Hours went by and I demanded to stay the night I do not want to leave her sight, I stayed on an extremely uncomfortable couch soon enough I drifted to sleep.
The machines that re placed next to her bed jerked me awake and all I could hear is the rapid beep coming from them, I tried to adjust my eyes to the light and when I wiped the sleepiness and registered what's happening a stared in the eyes of my one true only.
"Muffin?" I said with pure shock and happiness, I stopped her from pulling the wires out of her hands.
She is finally awake, I need to get the doctors now they need to make sure she is okay!
"Muffin I know you are confused and hurting but I am here right by your side, are you thirsty? "I asked and she just nodded while I adjusted the pillow for her so that she can sit upright.
I called the doctors and while waiting for them to join us I took ahold of her hand and she simply rejected me, a huge stab feeling rise in my chest and she looks completely confused and scared, but why?
"Muffin what's wrong? "I simply asked she looks so afraid of me and she knows that I will never in my entire live hurt a single hair on her head.
"Who are you? "She asked after a while and my whole world came crashing down she can't remember me?
