Call Me By Your Name( Editing )

Jeno

It took me a while to process the email Jun had sent us.

Dr. Jin kept on rubbing my back as I wiped the endless tears that just won't stop pouring down.

I wanted to grab Renjun's shoulders and make him snap out of this self loathing.

The thing is... I know what it's like to be so low that you feel like you should stop existing.

I used to consider ending it all too but I don't know how but I had this amazing human support system disguised by the name of Justin Lee to drag me out of my pit of emptiness.

Ben got us the flashlight, Jihoon the ladder and Taemin with his dolphin laugh ... Lol just kidding.. and Taemin had the map.

We made it through together.

The thing was. Renjun was alone. So freaking alone and he thought that he could fix it all by himself.

After I had calmed down I decided to call him up.

I wanted to talk to him... I needed to talk to him.

I never realized whyhe bothered me so much to be honest. Even when he left for London I kept on wondering about him.

I imagined he got busy with his new friends. I imagined he spent a lot of time with his family which made him forget about us.

I was starting to assemble this puzzle I had scrambled inside my head.

Why did he mean so much to me? I mean I know we were in the same school for years but I hardly got to know him for a couple of months...

Why did I send him freaking emails every week knowing he'll never reply?

Oh shit.

I guess I know why...

.

He had my number saved as J.

Nice how many nanoseconds did you save by not typing 'eno' fam?

I gripped the phone tight breathing heavily. Fuck why am I so nervous?

"Yeah Renjun?" He answered the call.

"You're with someone?" I asked. He must be.

"I'm hanging out with my dad." He sighed.

"AND THE LEGENDARY BEN." Ben yelled snatching the phone which was quickly taken back. Great going Jun.

"IS THAT YOUR GIRLFRIEND ON THE LINE?" I heard dad in the background.

"I LITERALLY  SAID HELLO RENJUN." He whined replying to dad.

"Yo I'm cool even if he turns out to be your boyfriend, captain." His voice was barely audible but he was enjoying teasing Renjun.

"NO. ALSO CAN YOU NOT?" Renjun half laughed.

"Listen Jeno... we got your mail." I said reluctantly.

"Oh." His tone suddenly turned serious.

I heard a chair being pulled and him excusing himself.

"SO WHEN IS THE WEDDING?" I heard Ben shouting excitedly.

"Oh shut up will you?" Renjun was barely audible but I imagined him glaring at Ben lol.

"Is Dr. Jin with you?" He asked.

"No. Although we both heard it earlier.  It was just a lot to-"

"Take in. I know. I'm not really proud of it either." He completed my sentence.