poetry

musicals and angels and coloured lights and those blue eyes

a secret romance can be fun, exhilarating, spontaneous, exciting, impulsive, free.

but that's when there are no strings attached.
That's when no one could get hurt.

when you love someone and they love you back, you expect it to be simple. Just plain love. having your best friend fall for him first is a complication you don't ordinarily expect.

and now, you're kissing him backstage and running through the rain and staying up until the sunrise and laughing until you cry and sitting on the rooftops and smudging your lipstick and catching trains to god knows where

and you love him, deep down

and he loves you

but it's been so long, so long without telling her, she'll think you betrayed her, that you did it just to spite her, that you're cruel and attention seeking and you always want what you can't have.

and when she comes to your performance, it's so difficult not to scream it out when she sees him on the other end of the stage and smiles

that
hopeful
smile

and afterwards talks about how good he was
as if you didn't even exist

when you know that's partly because you practised his lyrics and helped him warm up and kissed him for good luck before he went out

and you can't say any of this because you will lose a friend.