poetry

deviant

you can pretend you don't miss me
go ahead, laugh with him
smile at him, push me away
insist to him that we were only friends

you can pretend you don't love me
when you walk down that aisle
kiss him and say those words
as if i never mattered to you at all

and i can pretend it doesn't break me
when you ignore me effortlessly
despite the odd glance or two
and the tears i saw once last week

why can't we have what everyone else does?
why do we have to hide who we are
and be told that we are disgusting and deviant
just for loving someone?

you walk down the aisle that day
and i stand there in the crowd
i know you can see me
i allow the tears to stream down my face

they'll just think that i'm crying for happiness.
you know better.
our eyes meet and i see a naked, glistening longing
before you turn away and promise yourself to another
forever.

and they'll think you're in love
they'll think you're perfect and lovely and wonderful
and everything we were not allowed to be.