it's not a funny one
or a happy one
or one that i particularly enjoy telling
it's a painful one
and a dark one
and it eats me alive every night
i cant sleep any more
he haunts me now
his presence will never leave me
i wake up early in the morning
with tears streaming
gasping for air
nothing can ever be the same again.
i used to go through a crush not liking me back
as if it were the greatest tragedy i could ever face
i wallowed in my pathetic tears
trying to find a reason to be miserable
there was something appealing to me
about being so broken
i had never knew true darkness then.
now there is before
and there is after.
there is innocence and laughter and smiles and fun
and then
there is heartbreak and panic and darkness and tears
real tears
the kind you choke out
the kind that are shed in the evening
with the moonlight peeking through the cracks in the curtains
i used to love the night
now the stars are just holes in the sky
my mum asked me once why i never wore those pyjamas again
and my friend wondered why i flinched every time i entered her bathroom
i just shrugged
mascara sits under my eyelids still
my hair hangs loose and matted
my once bright eyes are hollow
i haven't eaten in weeks
my hips ache when i move
but no one questions why
someone once asked me why i'd changed
and i told them i was just tired.
it's easier to say that
than to tell them the truth.
it's not that the sun doesn't shine
it's that i don't feel it any more.
YOU ARE READING
poetry
Poetry♡ a poem compilation ♡ "maybe someday, these pain-filled words will compensate for this endless suffering."
