Secrets (Narry)

Chapter 19

CHAPTER 19

            Niall was taken off life support exactly at 10 am on a cloudy, Monday morning. I waited in the lobby for them to be done. I couldn’t watch as they turned off the machines that had given him oxygen and a few extra days to live. I am prepared emotionally, just not mentally. I didn’t think it could hurt this much.

            The fans are a wreck. Once this goes public, God only knows what’s going to happen. The boys have been tweeting nonstop to prepare the fans for the worst. After John Lennon died, many Beatles fans killed themselves over the pain and sorrow. I don’t want our supporters to do that. They need to know that Niall loves each and every single one of them.

            We all gathered at Nialls house after we left the hospital. We had tea with his family and just discussed funeral arrangements. I’m honored that Bobby and Maura want to include us in the preparations. We’ve all become close with each other.

            “You’re gonna have him cremated?”

            The words lefts my mouth before I could catch them. Maura looked at me with a soothing calm in her eyes.

            “I thought we were going to bury him?”

            Gemma visited me at my flat 12 days ago. That was when I realized that I needed to change. So I got better. I’m tougher on the inside. I don’t cry anymore. Instead, I get angry. I know it’s not a healthy thing, but it’s better than crying my eyes dry.

            “Harry,” Bobby replied. “He is going to be buried. We’re going to have an open casket funeral. After that, we’re going to have his body taken to a funeral home where he will be cremated.”

            I nodded. “So what you’re telling me is you’re putting an empty box in the ground?” I asked, with a little more attitude than expected.

            Everyone grew silent. Greg’s face turned red and he looked at the ground.

            “I apologize,” I sigh. I put my face in my hands. “I’m very emotional from today so I’m just taking it out on you guys. Don’t mind me, I think it’s a great idea,” I smile.

            Maura smiles and stands up, me following her actions. She hugs me tightly.

            “I love you so much, Harry. I’m happy that Niall had someone like you to love him.”

            I nodded and cleared my throat to swallow the tears. I haven’t cried since this morning before driving to the hospital. I’m getting stronger about this as each passing day slips by.

            “It just,” Louis speaks. “It sickens me that those men’s disgusting faces were the last thing our poor Nialler ever saw.”

            “No, it wasn’t,” I respond quietly.

            Liam looked at me. “What are you talking about?”

            “I was the last thing he saw. When we were waiting for the ambulance, I held him in my arms and he said ‘thank you’. I believe that’s the last thing he said, too.”

            Everyone took this time for themselves. To think about Niall, to wonder about how he knew he was going to die. I took this silence to remember him as the warrior I’ve grown to love so much.

            Liam clears his throat. Thank God. Someone please say something. “So it’s settled,” he slaps his thighs as he stands. “Funeral is on Sunday, the 16th.”