••••POSSIBLE TRIGGERING•••
*Ashtons POV*
After school that day I tore up my entire room looking for one thing.
My sketch book.
I opened it up to a new page, after hours of drawing and erasing. I had finished. I drew Calum. I drew us holding hands. I drew us over and over again. By the time I was done I had 2 of just Calum, 1 of him playing guitar, and 5 of us. I closed my sketch book up again and wrote something on the front cover,
"I love you forever and always"
I planned on giving him the sketch book when it was done. I had 22 pages left to draw on. I would be done in 2 weeks at the most.
That night I couldn't get to sleep, the thoughts came back..
Calum doesn't love you
Why do you keep drawing him it's creepy!
You're disgusting!
Kill yourself
The last one really stuck. Maybe I should kill myself. No. NO! I can't.. I have to stay strong for Calum. He can't know I'm crazy! He can't know I cut and hear voices! So just shut the fuck up and let me fucking sleep you bastard!
***
I hope Calum doesn't notice the bags under my eyes and how I didn't even try with looking good this morning.
Well I was wrong.. The first thing he said to me when he saw me was,
"Ash babe what's wrong..? You have massive bags under your eyes and you're just not yourself.."
"It's nothing Cal.. I just couldn't sleep last night.. No big deal"
I played it off really cool hoping he would buy my lie. And thank god he did. He dropped the conversation and just took my hand in his. He walked me to class and kissed me before I went inside. Once I sat down the thoughts came back..
He doesn't care about you, he just feels bad
You're a massive fuck up
Just look at the way you're dressed today
Disgusting
I put my head in my hands trying to get the voices out. The bell rang and I just say in my desk not wanting to move. My teacher came up to me and said,
"Ashton honey, you have to go now I'm sorry"
She gave me one of those fake pity smiles and I rushed out of the room. I had to stay strong for Calum but I don't know if I can....
•••••••••••••••
A/N
A bit of a cliffhanger
Thank you so much for 100 reads!
-Paiger =) x
YOU ARE READING
Complicated (Cashton/Muke)
FanfictionLuke loves Calum but likes Michael Calum likes Luke but also likes Michael and Ashton Ashton likes Calum but also has a slight crush on Michael Michael likes Luke but is also crushing on Ashton It makes life very complicated for the four lads.
