Complicated (Cashton/Muke)

Chapter 15

*Calums POV*

There they were, red lines sliced into his thighs. I don't know why someone so beautiful and kind would do something like this. I just kept staring at them, I couldn't bring myself to look at him. I didn't want to see the look of sadness in his eyes. So I just got up and pulled him into my arms. I felt my shoulder start to get wet with his tears but I didn't mind.

I just held him. For hours he cried into my shoulder. Finally he spoke,

"I'm so so sorry Calum.. I let you down I know I'm sorry"

"Oh Ashton, you didn't let me down.. Not at all babe"

"I want to stop.. For you and for Haz. Yesterday he told me that he was scared that I would leave like my dad did. I can't leave him Cal, I just can't.."

"Oh Ash, I will help you in anyway I can. I will help you get better. I will stick with you through everything I promise"

"Don't break that promise on me Calum. I don't think I could survive another heartbreak"

"I will keep my promise always"

He didn't say anything more. He just snugged into my chest. I stroked his hair and peppered it with kisses.

I looked at the clock on the wall to see that it was already 8 o'clock at night. I could head very faint snores coming from Ashton's mouth. I carefully picked him up and placed him on his bed. I took off my constricting skinny jeans and climbed in with him. I put his head on my chest and mumbled an 'I love you Ashy' into the top of his head.

I couldn't sleep that night, all I could think of was Ash harming himself like that. I know I don't know everything that goes on in his head but I do know that he is beautiful. He is the kindest person I've ever met. He takes such good care of his siblings, he loves them with everything that he's got. One day I hope that he loves me the same way. For now it's only in my dreams. And I'm perfectly okay with that, as long as it happens some where. Even if it is in my dreams.

***

I woke the next morning to find Ash still sleeping on my chest. I kissed his forehead hoping to wake him up. It worked. He fluttered his eyes open and kissed me. Ew morning breath. I pulled away and got up to brush my teeth, Ash followed me and did the same.

I walked out of his bathroom to find The Fault In Our Stars book sitting on his desk. I knew how I was going to tell him. I grabbed his hand and started to speak,

"I'm in love with you, an I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I'm in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and oblivion is inevitable, and that we're all doomed and that there will come a day when our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we'll ever have, an I am in love with you. I am totally and completely in love with you Ashton Irwin"

"Calum.. I don't know what to say.. D-Did you memorize that?"

"I did.. I wanted to find a special way to tell you that I love you. And I found it"

"Calum I love you. I love you so much"

I put my hands on his face and leaned in. I licked his lower lip asking for entrance, he granted it. Our tongues fought for dominance and I won. He finally pulled away needing to take a breath.

"I love you Cal"

"I love you too Ash"

•••••••

A/N

A little Cashton fluff for you guys

Love ya lots

Thanks so much for 600 reads! You guys are all amazing!

-Paiger =) xx